Sister asked me to shoot her wedding - Advice needed

[andre_grobler]

Just mail her the links to this and other similar threads.

 

Was in similar situation, father in law got married again... I put it like this:

 

Me. You want pictures like at our wedding, right?

 

Dad - in law. Yes! their lovely

 

Me. Mmm... I cannot give you that...

 

DIL. But you take lovely pictures

 

Me. Yep if I'm at a social event indoors I usually get about one in fifty to sixty that is technically OK, and a

few of those are anything but record shots. You get to see those one in about 200 shots. Much better outdoors

though, we can make it one every 50... if there is no pressure... and I almost only do it if there is nice light

to start with... You are getting married at 9 am on the beach... if we are lucky it's cloudy

 

DIL, REALLY!?!?!

 

Me, Yup and besides, its a memorable occasion, I'd like to be part of it

 

So in the end they got a young nice wedding tog that did a two-hour stint, with inexpensive lenses and an

expensive flash, that took perhaps not sublime photos, but good solid photos of absolutely everything, no missed

people, no flash shadows in a very pleasant and natural style. and I got perhaps four natural light moments that

were quite good and just got the moment... and about twenty record shots after the pro left that could be

salvaged in pp. Of course they still think if I could get that four I must have been able to get the hundred the

pro got...

 

BTW, there is no reason from your portfolio that you wouldn't be able to do this, it is just the first time, the

inexperience with flash and the unknowns of light, and of course the family that counts against you...

[nyphotopro]

Here's some advice - don't shoot your sister's wedding. Let her hire a photographer and you simply be a guest. If something

goes wrong, you'll have a big problem with your sister and the rest of the family for the rest of your life. Give her some

money towards the hiring of a good, reputable pro and let it go at that.

 

Good luck.

 

Matt

[tom_luongo1]

You haven't specifically said whether it is indoor or outdoor, daytime or nighttime, dark church or bright, though you do hint at a dark indoor church.

 

I've done at couple at no cost for friends or relatives. One friend paid for my gas and hotel bill to drive out of state for a few days. It was fun to hangout during the other events of the weekend and she was delighted with the results. The service itself was simple. No photography during the ceremony. Processional and recessional but nothing in between.

 

Another was my own niece. She's thrilled with the results so far but I still have a lot of work to finish processing and give her some kind of book. The pastor gave me free rein of the church - "I understand you're Tracy's uncle and she's comfortable with you so you can do whatever you want." Since there was plenty of available light I didn't use much flash since I wanted to minimize disturbing the service. She commented how great it was that I was walking all over the place, so I guess she didn't notice me _too_ much. :-)

 

If you shoot the sort of stuff that you have in your portfolio, you will do fine. You take pictures of people. All your nice wants is nice pictures of people on her wedding day. But reading photo.net's guide to wedding photography will be helpful too.

 

If this is something you might want to do more than once, you might also practice at one of those Craigslist postings looking for free wedding photography. Just make sure you write a contract that disclaims any results.

[lorriman]

You could try convincing them to compromise: persuade them that a pro should do the actual wedding (and perhaps also the post wedding shots), and that if they are willing to buy and resell a Canon 50/1.4 on ebay that you could do the pre and reception shots. I wouldn't depend on that f1.8: fragile and the extra bit of oof background is useful).

 

If it all goes wrong it could rankle for years, even though it isn't really your fault.

[anhaga]

Jacob

 

My first ever wedding was shot for my Sister - with a Canon 350D (Rebel XS to the Americans I think?). Whilst now I look back and cringe, my Sister loved the shots - she doesn't understand what noise is in a photo, but she does appreciate something being well lit/sharp - so I'd say you should definitely look into a flash and learn to use it well before the event. Stick to the 10D unless you've got months to get into another camera. You've got some fast lenses that should do you proud, but there's no substitue for fill-flash or bounce in darker rooms. If I were you, I'd offer two options

 

1) Suggest a pro to cover just the ceremony - a lot of the important shots are there, from guests arriving to the B+G leaving to the reception. This would, in my book, be the minimum coverage I offer for a booking, and so the cheapest. Then, you shoot everything else - preparations if wanted, and then reception and so forth. This way it's cheaper, and you get to relax - the most stressful parts of the day are all in the ceremony, as you can't afford to miss any of those shots. Herding cats is a bit far for what goes on afterwards - you just have to make sure you're heard for group shots and that you act as cheerful as possible - no matter how long you've been waiting for Aunt Mabel to put her drink down, check her hair, adjust her dress and such forth.

 

2) Do it ALL yourself, and spend a lot of time researching shots and locations, so you know exactly what you are dealing with. Two or three visits at least, maybe even with a few friends in tow so you can practise with them. But brace yourself for a long, tiring and stressful day. You won't have any time off if you want to do the job properly, but if you pull it off you'll be very happy with the day - I didn't feel like I hadn't enjoyed myself or relished the fact my Sister was getting married.

 

It's up to you - safer bet is number 1...

 

Good luck!

 

James

 

p.s. - Final point - my one criticism of my own first wedding was that there weren't enough guests shots - don't get caught up in the desire to make your sister look stunning in every shot and miss the photos of family and friends that don't stand out to you. As a stranger at a wedding, everyone is interesting. To you, many of your relatives may be boring as hell and you wouldn't think twice about them during the day. This was my error during my first attempt...

[anhaga]

p.p.s - based on your p/f, you're miles ahead of where I was when I shot my Sister's wedding. I'd say go for it, just with a flash you're comfortable with and have had for a while. Maybe ask for the couple to go halves with you on it as your fee, and in their interests...!

[raddatzphoto]

I think your chance at last has come. That said, you will need to have decent day and available light to work with for the best hope

for success. El Cheapo being understandable and fully recognized here. You have the advantage of knowing the situation and

participants. Obviously there will be a wonderful exchange of emotion and expression available, which you have inside track on.

Certainly you will not be able to produce the "thousands" common by todays typical pro duo teams, but given your bio history, you

should be able to plan the days shots, and the album beforehand. A 25 image album can work. The $ you save them will go nicely

towards a down payment on a house! Utilize your experience and available light to preconceive your gift album to your sister, and

plan these as best you can NOW with her so she understands exactly what she needs to do in cooperating to that end. If possible,

borrow (buy) and practice with a decent point and shoot pocket (flash) digital. With a spare battery, and decent storage card, you

should be able to augment the available light sets with impromptu ceremony, celebration, documentary etc. shots. For the most part,

forget the guests "line" of shots. Try to focus on SIS, family, and what will be meaningful memories to her and her future children 20

years from now.

[luckystokes]

Don't do it. Just say no. I'm sure you'll want to take some pictures yourself, so just take a point and shoot so nobody

badgers you into taking "official pictures". Because you're family, you won't be able to do a good time, or if you do, you

won't have a good time, and there is a fair chance you won't do either.

[stwrtertbsratbs5]

"There is a very simple answer to an EX flash on the 10D. Get a Vivitar 285."

 

Just make sure that you get the newer Vivitar 285 HV. The older versions of this flash can fry the electronics of your camera.

[vrankin]

I shot my sister's second wedding with about the same amount of equipment that you have. After it was over, I wished I'd

taken the advice offered by others here, to not be the main shooter of your sister's wedding, but to encourage her hiring of a

pro. Your candid shots (when you have the time) would still be appreciated, and the pressure would be off for you. I

experienced some unhappiness from the groom's parents when I couldn't fulfill their expectations, even though my sister

was mostly happy with what I did. It gets touchy, working with our families in ways that should be left for the pros.

[Member69643]

I'm amazed at how people use new events as a reason to "upgrade" perfectly good equipment. You have a fine camera. It will do fine, mainly because the person you're doing it for doesn't care what quality you give her. She wants free. When price is the criteria everything else falls by the wayside. She's LUCKY you have a camera that produces great images, but that doesn't matter to her in the end.

 

Shoot the wedding. Don't buy more gear.

[susansav]

We had a very budget wedding. My father-in-law offered to do the photography. He was a very good photographer who had "done" many weddings before. Really, the photos he took are good, well exposed and composed and all that. However, there are many periods of time that he missed because he was part of what was happening! LIke, where's the photographer? Others had cameras so there were snapshots of most moments, some of which I got to see. The biggest problem was that it was a very long time before I saw the result as he forgot to give us the pictures! Many months later I happened to notice an album on their table and realized it was our pictures.

 

I guess I'm saying that it can work out if you are okay with it but little things can and will go wrong. Decide how much you want to be a part of the celebration versus pleasing her request for your photos.

[ramon_pons1]

Do it! I'm in the exactly same position. I understand that your family will not accept a NO for answer. They just don't understand how complicated it is. The wedding of my sister in law is on Friday and I'm pretty scared but I have no option. My humble reccomendation is that you find a friend that knows about photography to come along with his/her camera (as back-up) or someone within this forum might volunteer...

 

GOOD LUCK!

[ken_thalheimer]

There's really no option here. You're not comfortable with it. You have no experience doing weddings. You're extremely limited with flash. Don't do the wedding. You can't go back & do it over. It matters not if it's a cheapo wedding. Your sister deserves her memories of it. You're opening a can of worms that has a good chance of coming out badly. Don't do it

[garydem]

wrote the following for another person who was talking about shooting a wedding.

i realize there are many pros who are wedding phtographers, so ignore this.

 

many yrs ago i shot 2 weddings; one for a friend and one for my brother in law. afterwards i made myself a promise that i have kept: NEVER AGAIN.

if you must-

-do your research. there are plenty of web sites available. find out what scenes EXACTLY to shoot and what to shoot it with. make yourself a list of expected shots and take it with you. make it in order of the shots.

-for the bride and groom, especially the bride, this is their day. the once in a lifetime event. you cannot look at this as just another day for to take pictures and have fun with a hobby. weddings are extremely serious business and the pressure is on the photographer to DELIVER. there are no excuses for poor or not gotten shots at a wedding for the photographer. rpt no excuses for not getting the shots.

-check out the church and check out the reception hall. this means go to them. can you use flash in the church? ASK the minister without fail before the ceremony starts, preferably when you check out the church. are you supposed to be at the brides home BEFORE everything on wedding day for pictures? which pictures of who, are they going to be there, who tells them to be there? i was for one of my weddings. my day started at 5:00am and i didn't leave the reception till past 2:00am. it was almost 24hrs on my feet. get rest and prior to wedding no liquid courage. at wedding and reception, pop or water only. you will be the soberest one there. your job is to produce pictures nothing else. what shots are needed at every place? of who are the shots at everyplace needed? where are these people? you are going to tell/ask anyone that you need after the ceremony to remain? if you do not ask them, who is?

-get a external flash, as big as you can buy. also brackets, cables, more batteries(if flash takes extra), any other needed accessories. you do have more than one camera battery, right? and charger? do you need a12volt charger as well???

-again. read. research so you know everything about taking wedding pics.

-after reading. do you need any more lenses? what kind, what size, what fstop?

- memory cards. do you have enough gb? if no, buy major brands only. do not take a chance on any great deals on memory cards. if you have el chepo cards do not use them, replace them. in all respects this is when you go with the best and most dependable equipment you can find.

- consider a backup dslr. if you do not have one-buy, rent, borrow.

-you mentioned setting up your tripod and taking many pics with it. do you absolutely have permission of the priest/vicar to use a tripod at that location. do not assume. also the same question about flash in the church.

-find some way to talk the couple into using a wedding pro. this couple may not be your friends AFTER the wedding.

try these web sites-

http://www.creehanweddings.com/shotlist.shtml

http://wedding-photographers-directory.com/

http://www.christophermaxwell.com/wedding-photography-tips.htm

 

this is a pdf file, 79 pages.

http://www.aljacobs.com/NEW%20WEDDING.pdf

 

you should read the following web site. very interesting.

http://tips.romanzolin.com/articles/article006.php

 

where do wedding photographers learn their trade???

by being an assistant to a PRO wedding photographer. do it without fee if you have to but get the experience.

- and very lastly. THE VERY VERY BEST OF LUCK. you will need it.

 

gary

 

another reply-

at the wedding i was referring to i was in the house with the brides and all the bridesmaids at 7:40am, having arrived 10min earlier. at the reception i was shooting till about 2am when the bride/groom finally left. that ended up at just under 18hrs shooting. when i did this it was with film, not digital.

though i have been asked, the one thing i learned was never again. the 2 weddings were done gratis, no fee, that was the wedding present.

if you want to do more weddings i suggest glen johnson's book "digital wedding photography". not cheap, but well worth it. i have read it, and my conclusion is anybody who reads the book will never do a wedding. he simply tells what you have to do to photograph a wedding.

 

 

[laverephoto]

Don't do it. Do some shopping for them and give them three options of cheap photographers to consider. Take lots of

pictures of your own and give them to them in a nice album as a gift. When they get what they paid for (probably not

much) you can be a hero by giving them your versions as extras. At least you won't be personally responsible for the

"real" photos. Even if you did it for free, you are still putting yourself in a bad position. Your sister may be very forgiving,

but what about everybody else,,, the groom's family, etc.

[mikal_grass]

Instead of upgrading your equipment and not having a clue how to use it, offer to split the cost of a professional

photographer as your wedding gift. Remember that no good deed goes unpunished, especially when it involves family.

[william-porter]

Whew, lots of questions!

 

You didn't actually ASK whether you should or should not do it. But lots of other folks have answered that

question, so I'll weigh in, too. When a close relative asks you to shoot their wedding as a favor, there are two

reasons to say yes: (1) because they're a relative, and (2) because you're trying to break into the wedding

photography business and you are desperate for experience. I'm inclined to say that the first reason - the one

that seems to apply to you - is a bad one, but that's perhaps not fair. However, if you do say yes, then I

suggest that you do two things for sure. First, put in writing (in a short informal note) your acceptance of the

job along with a disclaimer about your abilities. Second, PRACTICE. Shooting a wedding is a bit like stepping

into the ring for no-rules boxing.

 

Do you have just the one camera? Perhaps this has already been mentioned, but it bears repeating: you're taking a

tremendous risk if you don't have a second camera. For a close relative, who you have thoroughly warned about the

risks, perhaps you can get by with one camera. But one of the first and firmest rules of wedding photography is,

take (at least) two bodies. Cameras do break. Batteries die.

 

Now, to the questions you actually asked.

 

Your lenses seem like an okay collection. The Canon 28-135 will be useful if you're shooting outdoors in good

light. Inside in low light it's probably too slow. Using a tripod during the church ceremony will help, but there

are limits to what a tripod can do. The Sigma 17-70 is a pretty good and pretty useful. I have the Pentax mount

version of the same lens and use it quite a bit. Be nicer for your purposes if it had a fixed aperture. And

remember that, at 35mm, it's also going to be a bit slow. You might be able to shoot the entire wedding using

that 50 f/1.8. I don't think I would want to do that personally, but it's theoretically possible. But with the

1.6x field of view "crop factor," even that 50mm lens is a medium telephoto - not so good if you're close to the

subject. A 30-35mm prime would probably be a better choice for most purposes.

 

If you were going to buy just one lens for this event, I would suggest something like the Tamron 28-75 f/2.8.

 

Re metering: you'll need to read and practice. You're right, the black tux vs white bridal gown problem is a

classic, but there's a ton of info available online about this.

 

Shoot raw.

 

Good luck,

 

Will

[bernie moore]

As they used to say in the old movies, "Please! Don't shoot!! When brides think of wedding photos they remember their girlfriends' or cousins' wedding books from the past, not realizing there is a difference between an experienced pro and a brother who's made a few good shots. After all, all there is to it is aim the camera and click. If you think you can get professional results the first time out go for it; she will secretly never forgive you if you blow it. I have shot at weddings, but specifically shots of those holding the flowers that my wife arranged for the wedding party. My hands were full. The pro was skittering about like a waterbug. Besides it's your sister; you should be a guest. (Little guilt trip to help you get out of it:)

[john fleshin]

"Have you ever tried to herd a bunch of cats?"--- Or teach school, really good one.

 

If you have a chance, shadow someone shooting a wedding, make a list in sequence, of important events, do not try

to shoot everything, be familiar with the wedding event, and if you are not willing to step in front of the others to take

at least minimal control of the cats, well, hopefully what ever you can make of what you shoot and get printed up at

Costco, choose the best, toss the rest.

 

If you take 100 shots, that is really sufficient, people shooting thousands of shots, well, obviously your sis is more

interested in getting married than starring in some photo production.

 

Flash, do you have a good dealer, preferably the one who sold you your camera? If so, borrow what ever used flash

he can spare, and test out the rig at various distances. The light takes the photo. Get your stuff checked out at the

same time. I did shoot three in the family of my photo dealer. ;-)

 

A lot else has been said.

 

I have not photograhed my family's weddings, but I have still not been in the photos, which tells you something. ;-) I

did photograph two weddings in which I was in the bridal party, worked out fine, I set up the groups and handed my

Rollei and Braun strobe to someone to push the button.

 

No hard rules, if you get 12 excellent shots, and 12 good ones, you will have succeeded better than some. And yes,

lots of spare batteries.

[StuartMoxham]

Well it is your choice. If you can't help out your sister who can you help. She knows your not a pro and as you are being asked I doubt the she intends to hire a pro. You said it was a cheep wedding and I understand that not everyone can have an expensive wedding or a pro photographer. By photographing your sister's wedding you will be doing what thousands of people have to do every weekend for their family and friends. It only normal when people are on a tight budget to see what family members are able to help out. Do your best and make the most of the equipment that you have. Explain that you are not anywhere experienced with weddings and if she still agrees and you agree then give it your best shot. She will either be thankful for the pics you take or she won't. You will likely get some special shots, some nice shots and a whole bunch snaps. If you can manage to get the bride and groom alone to shoot some portraits then try to do that also. That way they may get something nice to put on the wall.

[kris-bochenek]

I too shot a family event (baptism) for a friend shots came out pretty nice IMO but she had BIG expectations and didn't like the pictutres although they were free as was my service I did it only because they were in a pinch and couldn't afford a pro.

Since then I don't shoot any family events I'd rather be outside shoot nature then be in a stressful situations and loose the rest of my hair it's just not me.

This is up to you if you want to help your sister do it might not be as bad as some say.

Regards,

[tdigi]

If you are going to shoot the wedding I would say 1 piece of equipment you should get is a flash. Sometimes you just need

more light.

[backswamp]

You really, really have to find and set the expectations with everyone. When my wife and I got married my then

new mother in law took 24 pictures with a yellow box disposable and baked us a cake from a Pillsbury box. (Then

we went back home and threw several dozen hot dogs, hamburgers, and chicken breasts on the grill and had a party

to beat the band with all of our friends.) But we

knew up front that was the deal, and we had those expectation. One of those pictures is still hanging in our

bedroom mirror decades later. But we got what we wanted, and we haven't ever been sorry about it. We could have

afforded "bigger and better" since it was a second marriage for both of us and we were working career

professionals, but that wasn't the deal *FOR US* on that day.

 

You have to be cognizant that this is not a paying customer whom you don't even know well; this is your sister.

And I don't get the impression it's her second wedding in middle age like mine was.

 

If that's not what she, or not what the new in-laws expect, then you probably have a problem on your hands. While

you may be a good photographer, you will *NOT* be a detached third party at this event. (This is the important

part, you can either be a participant, or a detached professional, but you cannot be *BOTH* simultaneously.) If

that's OK, then by all means have a great time and be the token photographer in the soup. But if they want a

professional

job, even if they don't want a $10K professional job but need the budget special, you're going to have a hard

time delivering *YOUR* best

work at your sister's wedding.

 

I'm not saying you can't do a good wedding shoot. I'm just saying you are going to have a hard time doing *THIS*

wedding shoot if you're already worried about it. My mother in law was having a great time hamming it up at our

wedding, but we had the expectations managed properly. If you can get the expectations clear, then you can have a

wonderful time, and it will turn out great. But if the expectations don't match reality then you may be doing

damage control afterwards.

 

MB

[naturegirl99]

Wow! You've already received a LOT of responses on this issue. If you are determined to go ahead, all I can do is share

my own experience. I, too, am most comfortable when things aren't moving much (landscape/nature/macro). I also am

most comfortable with natural light and have never used a flash unit since going digital with my Nikon D40X.

 

Back when I was still shooting film, I was asked to shoot my brother's wedding and a co-worker's wedding. To this day, I

don't know if they were just being nice, but I've never heard any criticisms of my work, despite my inexperience with the

subject. I charged the co-worker and I offered my services to my brother and his bride as a wedding gift. I can say this--

one of my best shots from my brother's wedding is still framed and hanging on their wall. I was extremely lucky in that in

both cases, I was able to shoot strictly outdoors in natural light (except for some portraits of the brides-to-be getting ready;

try to find a bright window for lighting in that case).

 

Here's my 2 cents' worth of advice:

 

1) Be frank. Make sure your sister and her groom are completely aware of your inexperience in this situation and lack of

pro equipment, and remind them that they are taking a gamble here. Tell them they may get exactly what they (didn't) pay

for!

 

2) Speak with the bride and her groom about their expectations. Make a list of what kind of images they're looking for

(portraits of bride getting ready, rings on joined hands, signing registry, family groups, candids, semi-formal/formal portraits

etc). Study this list!

 

3) Look at other couples' wedding albums, especially those shot by pros. Obviously you won't have access to all their

equipment or their skill, but you will be able to pick up excellent ideas on poses, expressions, composition etc. It really

helped me!

 

4) Visit the site/venue where the photography is to take place (pray that it's outdoors!) with the bride- and groom-to-be

ahead of time. Practice setting up the shots. I did this and it really helped. Have an alternate site in case of rain and

check THAT out, too.

 

5) TAKE CHARGE. That's what the pros do. Despite your relationship to the subjects of the photos, you will have to be

firm and move people around as you see fit, for the purposes of composition etc. You have to step outside the box with

this, but in the end, they'll (hopefully) appreciate your efforts.

 

6) I would post-produce your best images and leave the rest until the couple have reviewed them. Present them via CD or

a photo site and have them pick out what they like, and do some more editing if necessary. At this point, you'll have to

decide whether you give them control of the edited images and let them do the printing, or whether you'll take care of that

piece.

 

7) GOOD LUCK!!

 

Cheers,

Nancy