Who are we really working for? Is it possible to please ALL the people?

[nicola inglis]

I had a couple of interesting conversations at weddings over the weekend. In

one a father compared the wedding photography of his two son's weddings. The

first paid a lot (father's description, I don't know the pro, his work or

pricing so can't offer my opinion) and Dad was disappointed that they were

all 'arty' with crooked angles and there was nothing you could frame for the

wall. Reprints were available from his website but they 'cost a fortune'. His

second son hired a beginner who burned the whole lot (unedited as far as I

could tell) to CD and gave it to them to make their own prints. Dad thought

this guy had done a better job (and offered far better value) even though there

were some strange anomolies like couples split up in the group photos.

Interestingly the bride from the second wedding was also there and told me that

she was a bit disappointed with their photos because the photographer hadn't

taught them about posing and even though they had told him wall portraits were

their priority he hadn't shot enough of them.

 

I guess all my rambling is leading to the question...

 

Who are we trying to make happy? Obviously the bride and groom are the

priority but how far do you go to make the other guests into raving fans of

your work? How far do you go to make the parents into raving fans? And how do

you do it given that their objectives might be almost mutually exclusive?

[justscattin]

I shoot for the bride and groom. I must say though that my brides and grooms are prequalified as far as knowing my style of shooting. Although I am not a big fan of posed traditional stuff, I do it as they are paying the bill, however, I make sure that I shoot my style as well and they have the choice. I do my best to cover what the parents want as well as many times, they are the one footing the bill for the photography.

Michelle

[robgreer]

The answer to your question is simple. If the person who hired you is happy with your work, then you've made the right person happy. If the person who hired you isn't happy, then you need to determine if it's your fault because a) you didn't do a good job in your photography or b) you didn't do a good job in setting the client's expectations. Of course there's the extremely rare third case when you do both a) and b) and they still aren't satisfied. In those cases, it's up to you determine the proper remediation based on your own best business practices. Anyone else you can impress besides the client is purely lagniappe and will help promote your business.

[stephen dohring]

They simple answer is to ask before you shoot. I ask the B&G what they like and then how involved the mothers are. If the mothers are involved with evey detail and seem to take control of everything you better ask what they think about photography because the B&G will agree with what they are told sometimes. If you know what they think you will know what to do so you have to ask. You can't shoot to impress other photographers you have to make the client happy. It should be easy to be yourself and get a good mix. Go for the moments above all and make them look good. A good shooter should go into every wedding with confidence they will do a great job and hope for a little luck to get some magical shots.

[kevin cook - stratford upo]

I agree. In the Uk we have a phrase 'horses for courses'. You match the output to meet the demand. I shoot alot of shots which could be used in a variety of ways. This can always be done in the workflow more often than not.

 

Saturday's wedding I had to troop the entire party across the road to the local park. I got some great stuff photographing the party dodging the traffic, Mum won't want those, but I bet the B&G will.

 

The B&G are into Reservoir Dogs so I did a bit like that, I know Mum won't want to see those LOL!

[nicola inglis]

Hey Kevin, I had a 'Reservoir Dogs' wedding a couple of weeks ago too! Lot's of fun :-)

 

Steve, that's a really good idea to ask about parental involvement. You're so right that afterwards they listen to the family and what they tell them about their photography.

 

One area of potential conflict between the wants of the parents and the wants of the couple is the formals. Most times couple want to get through them as quite quickly so they can get to the couple photos which are their highest priority. Meanwhile Mum wants loads of various combinations and all of them absolutely perfect (not one missed tie, sunnies, blink etc).

 

I guess there is no right answer, I just wondered how others work to keep the various stakeholders happy.

[larry_moore]

I think the secret to keeping referal from parents as well as the couple is to try and have everyone think you did what they wanted. Its not all that hard if you think of each point of view at least a few moments during the day. Most couples are not very sensitive to the needs or wants of parents or even to understanding that in a few years the shot with grandparents will be priceless. A bit of effort pays off to capture all the relationships in both candid and at least organized ways.

Brooke

[annealmasy]

Our contract clarifies that we are being hired to document the BRIDE AND GROOM'S

wedding day experience. So they're the ones we're obligated to please.

 

Sometimes you really have to read between the lines with people. We've had couples tell

us that they didn't want ANY posed formals - then a week before the wedding they hand

us a 20-grouping formals list. Other couples have said they did want family formals, but

when the time came they refused to pose for ANYTHING. So we just go with the flow, and

gauge the reactions of the couple and their family as we're doing portraits and following

the timeline. Sometimes things go according to plan; sometimes everything changes at

the last minute.

 

The bottom line is that you can't make everyone happy - and some people are harder than

others. Just keep your cool and give everyone an equal measure of respect on the

wedding day. At the very least it will endear everyone to you so they will speak highly of

you, if not also your work.

[picturesque]

Depends on who seems to be in charge. Either the bride/couple is, or one of the couple's parents/mother. It isn't always the person who paid of the photography that is in charge, either. When it is convenient and easy to do, I try to please everyone. Sometimes this is possible, even if the views of several parties are pretty divergent. For every situation during the day, I photograph a few one way, and a few another. I may get great, traditional formals if I know someone in the family is looking for them, while also getting some good PJ moments. Rarely has it come down to totally one way or another. And I also try to be flexible and roll with the punches, as Anne suggests above.

[steve_newberry___northern_]

Agree with Nadine.

Couldn't have said it any better.

[picturesque]

Also going to say, the trouble comes when one of the influencing parties (example--MOB) doesn't tell you what they want (either before or during) and the other influencing party (example--bride) has a strongly different view which they have aggressively vocalized or have just failed to mention anything that the first party (her mother) might want. You blithely go about photographing what you think is desired, only to find out later (with great surprise) that the party mentioned first above either doesn't like your images or thinks there were missing or ommitted images, and they have now convinced the other party that there is a lack in your images. There are some very twisted people in this world.

[nicola inglis]

Do you try to 'innoculate' the B&G against some possible negative comments when they are viewing the images by saying things like "It's really good to have the opportunity to show these to you in the context of an album since I'm sure if you saw it on its own you'd wonder why on earth I took a close up of the front of the car (or whatever)"?

 

I guess that's the problem isn't it? The family don't really get to see the images in the context of the album until some time later.

 

Am I worrying too much what other people think?! It just seems like I've had a couple of conversations recently with people who criticised various photographers for things that I do! Things like taking 'arty farty' shots, failing to notice a pair of sunnies in a formal (my bad, but time pressure is a terrible thing!), not taking enough formals (what are you gonna do when B&G ask you not to?!). I always try to present the other side of the coin but wonder if I'm wasting my time. Maybe they just need to vent :-)

[nicola inglis]

The other thing is that the bride sometimes changes her mind about what she wants. Beforehand they may want to look like a bride in a magazine, afterwards they want a shot of every guest. Beforehand they didn't know they would want this. So we're guessing a wee bit on that too.

[picturesque]

Nicola--I think you're worrying a little too much about what other people think. If you showed your clients those little detail shots in your work in your initial meeting, they shouldn't be surprised to see them among their images. The fact that the bride's mother may not understand why you took those is easily dealt with if you also shot enough of what the bride's mother wanted (if she told you what she wanted). We cannot be expected to be mind readers or take note of every miniscule detail in a formal. For instance, I generally allow kids to be kids, and if they are doing something kid-like in a formal, such as splaying their ankles outward, I take one that way and one where I tell them to stand straight. Sometimes, older folks don't understand why I even took the one with their ankles splayed, sometimes they think it is cute... You just don't know. So you do what you can, be as accommodating and flexible as you can, and don't worry about the rest.

[nicola inglis]

Thanks Nadine. You're right of course :-) Thanks everyone for taking the time to reply.