Vender Meal Etiquette

[mariah_smith]

Hi,

 

How do you all handle "vender meals"? Do you include one in your contract if

you're booked for long amount of time? Do you always bring your own food?

What's the etiquette on this?

 

Thanks!

[ni_gentry]

Uh... I've never mentioned it with a couple. I always get fed one way or another. Either the

couple just puts me and my assistant on their guest list and we have an assigned table or

there's a vendor table set aside somewhere or if it's not obvious, then I simply ask the caterer

and they bring us a plate. That's been the case with my own weddings and all those that I've

second shot. You could bring your own bag lunch I guess :-)

[think27]

Mariah - you will see lots of different approaches with this and in my opinion there is no "right" answer..except what you feel comfortable with.

 

Me? - I insist on a hot meal. I've been working for 6 to 8 hours (travel and prep as well as getting ready shots etc.) and must have something hot. I don't care if it is pasta and I let my couples know it does not have to be a "guest" meal - just hot. Most "vendor" meals are cold ham or turkey sandwiches and that is not acceptable to me.

 

In one case the Ritz Hotel would not give us hot pasta or anything other than the guest meal option. We arranged with the couple and got permission from the hotel to go outside for a hot meal which we brought into the small conference room during the time the couple was also eating. The poor band had $15 each cold sandwiches on stale bread and we had pasta alfredo with grilled chicked for $12 - ha... The band was very envious and vowed to do the same with the Ritz in the future.

 

In another extreme.. The Round Barn in Warren VT has the best food in all the 16 years I've done weddings. They insist that the "vendors" have the same meal as the guests and only charge the couple half price. The table is set with tablecloths downstairs in the gallery with beautiful water pitchers, salad with a gravy boat full of balsamic/maple dressing and we are waited on like we were in a restuarant and asked for our preferences. Needless to say - it is my favorite venue. We also recently had the same wonderful treatment, along with the band at The Boathouse in Central Park.

 

Some photographers are happy to bring something to eat and prefer not to burden the couple. My experience is that the couples and their parents are usually happy to make sure we are well taken care of.

[nancy s.]

I worked for a guy who would tack on an extra $75 for himself and another $75 for his assistant if a meal was not provided and he did not mean a loaf of stale bread and a package of deli meat and "make your own." He also would not balance his meal on his lap in the foyer... I have done that at some of the better places!

 

That happened to him ONE time and after that he put the meal thing right in the contract.

 

I always sort of thought vendors (catering halls) were shooting themselves in the foot when they treated other vendors (photogapher, band etc.) shabbily. Do they think they are going to get any referrals from another vendor who is relegated to eating stale bread on a lap tray in the anti room off the kitchen or the foyer?

[annealmasy]

Our contract requires a hot meal, and we almost never get it.

 

In part, it's our fault. We're often so caught up in shooting that we don't take a break, or

bother to find the caterer to find out how/where/what we should eat.

 

But many couple's simply don't make the appropriate arrangements, and the caterers

typically see us as lowest on the priority list to get fed.

 

Our new Wedding Worksheet (the info worksheet that accompanies the contract) has a

space for: "Contact person in charge of providing photographers' meals" and a note that

"So that no shots are missed, photographers' meals should be served when the bride and

groom are eating." Or something like that, I'm not looking right at it.

 

In any case, this added discussion re: food has increased our chances of actually getting

any. ;) We still might not have time to eat, but at least it's there if we need it. (And we

can always pack it up for later!)

[annealmasy]

P.S. We shoot full 8-hour days at EVERY wedding, which is why we do require a meal. If

you're only shooting for 6 hours or less, I suggest that you bring your own munchies. It's not

worth the hassle for a shorter shoot.

[david_eicher]

I do not expect it, nor do I bring anything with me. 98% of the time, I am fed or told to get a plate. Many times I am told to take a plate home for me and the Wife. Its been tough moving from the big City to the Country. Now I have to put up with smoked hog, vension, ribs and various cuts of meat that has been supurbly bar-b-qued. Boy has it been tough on my waistline.

[gary_geiger]

We don't shoot during the meal service but, I just check with the kitchen staff>

> there are generally under their guarantee> the meal is already in their

budget.....I just dine on whatever the chef provides...the B&G never need to

know. So we are hidden away from the guest and dining on the same menu.

[savagesax]

We have stated in our contract that the photographers gets to leave for 45 minutes or the photographers get fed at the reception along with the guests. This solves 2 problems, 1- the bride doesn't want us to leave for 45 minutes and 2- we get served the same food as everyone else, not peanut butter and crackers or something stinky like that. I'm a diabetic so this can be a concern for me. I also carry stuff like trail mix for those long days.

[katieontario]

Hi there!

 

This is the exact wording in our contract:

 

"Full day wedding contracts require that both photographers be included in the dinner count."

 

Verbally, we insist on being part of the crowd.

 

We have had a couple of situations where the bride and groom were going to have the reception hall staff set us up in another room to eat - they both had a large guest crowd and seating arrangements were an issue. However, they also wanted pictures of speeches - which was during dinner. Ummmmm...?

 

When we insist on being part of the crowd, we assure the couple that while we understand that we are not family, a good seat means fast access to whatever may happen that evening resulting in high quality photojournalistic photos.

 

I remember reading somewhere that the longest business relationship a bridal couple will have is with their photographer.

 

This shed a new light onto how my husband and I view our services, and how we should and are expected to be treated... which has led us to calling the shots on a number of issues... not placing ourselves on a pedastool or anything, but you know? Even something like this issue has resulted in amazing photos, and incredible word-of-mouth marketing, as guests see how we quietly and unobtrusively carry out our job on the "front lines".

 

Good luck!

[kelly_flanigan1]

The "Bluto" Blutarsky food etiquette school probably is abit to liberal.

[rob_s___san_francisco_bay_]

Handful of Power Bars in the bag to snack on during the day... send the assistant down the

street to the local Mc-D's for dinner during the reception... sneak in a few pieces of cake and

a few drinks from the bar at the end of the night ;-)

[jeffrey_blake_adams]

I prefer not to eat whilst working. I would never eat at a "vendor" table, I am an integral part of the wedding, and not a vendor in that sense. We have poistioned ourselves as artists, and artists are not servants that eat in the kitchen. I kindly defer any offers of eating, thank them and mention I don't want to miss any chances to create something of beauty. I have once had a B&G insist, and they sat me at their table, intro'd me and my assistant to the rest of the table, and we quickly shared a meal with our friends, then got back to doing what we are there for, to create images that I am proud of, and that thrill my clients. Jeffrey

[kari douma]

I don't know how you do it Jeffrey... I can't go 10 hours with out eating. I wouldn't be of much use to them by that point!

 

I have a customer info sheet that my client fills out along with the contract. On the customer info sheet I ask thinks like important phone numbers, different situaions I need to be aware of, how many people in the wedding. On that paper there is a spot that says "Are you providing dinner for the photographer and assistant?" and they have to check a box that says yes or no.

 

I have never had anyone say no. I figure that this is just a reminder to them to include me in thier count. I don't know if it is an area thing or not, but I have never been searved a "vendor meal" or seated at a "vender table" somewhere else at the reception. Then again, maybe it is because I don't do the high end weddings.

 

I keep thinking I'll add it in my contract. I guess maybe I will if it becomes an issue, but right now it isn't.

[waldemar_giers___kitchener]

It is in my contract. We always eat as guests. Nobody never had problems with that. But I personally know photographer who was refused hot meal. He ordered pizza delivery to the hall and was feastig on it on the stage steps sipping coke from 2 l bottle. I guess he made his point.

[kelly_flanigan1]

Jeepers creepers; power bars! is what I use to prevent a burnout if there isnt any food at any photo gig today.<BR><BR>In the early 1970's we used "space food sticks"! :)

[William Michael]

I have never asked for a meal but can count on one hand the instances when I was not provided with something hot, and adequate to eat, by the person(s) responsible for the account at the wedding breakfast or function.

 

On those few occasions where I was not `catered for`, I have been able to obtain adequate food by simply asking the appropriate person in the kitchen indicating my intention to pay, on one occasion I paid for same.

 

 

I politely thank when asked, but firmly refuse to be seated at the guest`s tables at a Wedding, Engagement or `personal` function.

 

I (and any assistants) am (are) not a guest(s) as such, but the Professional(s) charged with capturing a very special and private occasion: to that end I want full control over where I (we) am (are) and what I (we) am (are) doing at all times, I cannot achieve this being politely seated at a table for designated periods.

 

The Client simply arranges for a hot meal(s) to be provided which is consumed discreetly at my (our) convenience.

 

I carry a water bottle, refilling is simple.

 

Regards

WW

[sam_ellis]

I had to sit with the band and eat cold sandwiches at one wedding. On top of that, we were out in the lobby snack shack! We were all grumbling about that. I took my time.

Since then, I usually mention it to the couple when we meet. I also try to get my meal shortly after the head table so I am finished eating when they are done. If I am at the last table to be served, the couple is making their rounds before I'm done. I tell them that I don't want to miss anything. Nobody's ever had a problem with it. I've also gotten to know the staff at my regular places and they take care of me.

[conraderb]

Mariah - Im' not sure if there is an etiquette, but there is.

 

In my contract it says that I get a meal for any job of 6 or more hours. So far, all of my clients are enthusiastic to provide this - they see me as a professional and are happy to help. No one has ever grumbled. If they do, however, I can just say that it doens't need to be what the guests are eating - just something to charge up my batteries.

 

Even when it wasn't in my contract, I have been fed. During the few times when I wasn't told to chow down, I had a quiet talk with the father of the bride and said that we had forgotten to pack a dinner and I would like to pay him for whatever the cost of the meal is by reducing the total balance. Everyone so far has refused my offer and told me to eat up.

[conraderb]

whoops - I meant to say, "but there is something you can do about it if it is important to you".

[starkitty]

Last Saturday was the first time I haven't been fed, and I was hurting after 8 hours. I seriously thought about ordering a pizza. It's bad enough being hungry, but smelling all that yummy food really brings it home! I won't forget a power bar next time (yuck) just in case.

 

Sometimes you have to realize that you are considered "the help"

[steve skibbie central ca]

For me, I don't feel it's appropriate to expect to be fed at a wedding, I wouldn't write it into a contract either-- I think that's awfully demanding on someone who is already hiring you to work "X" number of hours.

 

Now, break times are different. I will verbally explain that during the mealtime, my assistant and I will likely be seated somewhere nearby rather than shooting guests as they eat.

 

Most of my clients have been thoughtful enough to have had two seats reserved for me and my assistant-- I've never had a vendor meal, either. I have, however, eaten at a children's table (which makes for some funny shots)

 

Sometimes, we don't have time to eat. Depending on the schedule of the wedding, we'll be shooting "catch up" shots if the wedding party is running late.

 

I wouldn't expect to be fed just like I wouldn't expect them to provide me batteries for my equipment. I'll always bring Cliff Bars with me, just in case.<div></div>

[allen_d.]

I rarely eat, and maybe have a glass of water sometime during the reception. I haven't had a wedding last more than 8 hours though. I'm too focused on the events to even think about food until maybe the last hour or so when things have calmed down some. Man I'm hungry on the way home though!!

[jeffreyc]

My experience in New Orleans has been that the B/G usually make sure that we take a minute to eat (not at the same time, of course). So it's never been a problem having to include a clause in the contract as a rule. We generally see more buffett style receptions but even with my limited experience with sit-down meals, the catering co. usually will have a little lagniappe for the vendors. Jessica tells me she's only added a clause once after discussing it with bride in the three years since she started the business. (I hadn't started working with her yet.)

 

We also work several Vietnamese weddings a year where the vendor table is set up with all the courses at once and the vendors can eat as needed. In one extreme case the groom's mother sat me and the videographer down and started pouring us a beer. She spoke very little english, and none of her vocabulary included the phrase, "No, thank you." (Really, she did not leave untill we at least took a sip.)

[charity borg]

I thought it was pretty normal to get fed during a full day wedding. Something to consider in my contract though. Although I think that is going to garner some strange looks because it's pretty much a given in Alberta that we keep each other fed. We're pretty friendly folks here.