Leica in Opera - A Masterpiece

[vic_.]

I don�t know who Peter Klein is, but he deserves a place in the Leica hall of

fame for creating this masterpiece:

<br>

<br>Which can be found on:

<br>http://leica-users.org/v27/msg07907.html

<br>and

<br>http://medfmt.8k.com/mf/wimps.html

<p>

<br><b>"I Am A Total Devotee of Leica M Photography"</b>

<br><b>Copyright © 2004 Peter A. Klein</b>

<br>Sung to the tune of "I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major General"

<br>Apologies to Gilbert and Sullivan

<br>

<br>- - - - -

<br>Scene: A photographic gathering in a posh metropolitan hotel. The Master

Amateur is holding forth on the glories of Leica. He is dressed in a battered

old raincoat and a French beret. In his hand is a battered M3 covered with

black tape. He is surrounded by a chorus of paunchy middle-aged men, each

wearing an enormous autofocus SLR with zoom lens. The lenses bounce on their

bellies when they sing.

<br>- - - - -

<br>

<br>(MASTER AMATEUR)

<br>I am a total devotee of Leica M photography.

<br>I will not buy a digicam, I won't do videography.

<br>I read the work of Lager with his product list canonical.

<br>I'll never use a plastic lens with focus ultrasonical.

<br>

<br>I look at other cameras with an attitude that's whimsical.

<br>I do not want an SLR with viewing pentaprimsical.

<br>The look of glass from Asia makes me squint my eyes and squirm a knee.

<br>I'd rather get my lenses from a little town in Germany.

<br>

<br>(CHORUS)

<br>He'd rather get his lenses from a little town in Germany.

<br>He'd rather get his lenses from a little town in Germany.

<br>He'd rather get his lenses from a little town in Germa-Germa-ny.

<br>

<br>(MASTER AMATEUR)

<br>I will never put my camera on a tripod that is teetering.

<br>I cannot understand the need for modern matrix metering.

<br>Look back upon my history, it's all in my biography:

<br>I am a total devotee of Leica M photography.

<br>

<br>(CHORUS)

<br>Look back upon his history, it's all in his biography:

<br>He is a total devotee of Leica M photography.

<br>

<br>

<br>(MASTER AMATEUR)

<br>I love my Leica cameras with passion that's tyrannical

<br>A rangefinder, a floating frame, and everything mechanical.

<br>The shutter curtain's rubberized, and fashioned from the finest silk.

<br>The lenses have a bokeh that is smooth as summer buttermilk.

<br>

<br>My fifty f-two Summicron takes landscapes that are lyrical.

<br>I pierce the gloomy shadows with my Summilux aspherical.

<br>I must have Leica quality although it costs me lots o' bucks.

<br>I bought a ninety APO, I'm saving for a Noctilux.

<br>

<br>He bought a ninety APO, he's saving for a Noctilux.

<br>He bought a ninety APO, he's saving for a Noctilux.

<br>He bought a ninety APO, he's saving for a Nocti-Nocti-lux.

<br>

<br>I develop all my Tri-X film in acid that's ascorbical.

<br>I try to make my photos have a reference metaphorbical.

<br>And so throughout my history, you'll find in my biography:

<br>I am a total devotee of Leica M photography.

<br>

<br>(CHORUS)

<br>And so throughout his history, we find in his biography:

<br>He is a total devotee of Leica M photography.

<br>

<br>

<br>(MASTER AMATEUR)

<br>I want to be like Eisenstadt and Smith and Frank and HCB.

<br>I take my Christmas photos in a style that's documentary.

<br>I never shoot at weathered rocks and twisted trees and gnats and logs.

<br>There's universal pathos in my pictures of my cats and dogs.

<br>

<br>I lurk in bars and coffeshops, and stalk the streets with Delphic glee.

<br>To shoot unwary passers-by with Leica mounted pelvically.

<br>But when I spy a plant that has a lovely flower's bloom upon.

<br>I take a dazzling close-up with my dual-ranging Summicron.

<br>

<br>(CHORUS)

<br>He takes a dazzling close-up with his dual-ranging Summicron.

<br>He takes a dazzling close-up with his dual-ranging Summicron.

<br>He takes a dazzling close-up with his dual-ranging Summi-Summi-cron.

<br>

<br>(MASTER AMATEUR)

<br>And although I've tried the other brands they always are inferior.

<br>They can't resolve the fuzz upon a baby's bare posterior.

<br>That's why throughout my history, you'll find in my biography:

<br>I am a total devotee of Leica M photography.

<br>

<br>(CHORUS)

<br>That's why throughout his history, you'll find in his biography:

<br>He is a total devotee of Leica M photography.

<br>

<br>------------

<br>--Peter Klein

<br>Seattle, WA

[emwalker]

hmmmm. people with waaaaaaaaay too much time on their hands who need to justify for their inner peace why they spent waaaaaaaay too much money on their cameras...

[stephen_w.]

Vikram,

 

Funny, I expected to see some nice pic's.

[nolan_ross]

Maybe the M8 will have a sound system and can sing the Leica song..Nolan

[Troll]

Thanks! I needed that! (Hope that damn tune isn't running through my head all night, though. Da dade dade dade dade dade dade dadade.... Oh mein Gott, it's started!)

[mark_amos]

...very, very clever...and acute..

[al_kaplan1]

It needs a chorus line of scantily dressed women.

[johnny massey]

Perhaps the curtains could travel in the same direction (and the follow-spots could burn holes in them) - towards the end of the production's run the right-hand side of stage could be darker than the left, but to begin with only during certain scenes. Maybe Mel Brooks would be up for it - and in the grand finale they would all board a freedom-train and ride off into the sunset, this would also help to keep the production costs reassuringly high.

[h._p.]

It's a very clever pastiche.

[kevin m.]

"There's universal pathos in my pictures of my cats and dogs. "

 

Funny stuff, Vic, thanks!

[Alex_Es]

I agree with Al.

[ed_schwartzreich]

I was not only present at the LHSA meeting last October in San Francisco when Peter's gem was sung, I was actually one of the singers! Somewhere there is a photo of us doing this, and I will try to find and post it. Mark Davison (who is, I believe a poster here) played the piano. There was no chorus line, unfortunately.

 

Ed

[OCULUS New York]

Adds a whole new dimension to the genre of Light Opera.

 

What was Churchill's retort about British Navy traditions? "The rum, the lash and the buggery?"

 

Yo ho ho,

Ray Hull

[vinay_patel]

"It needs a chorus line of scantily dressed women."

 

People who aren't clueless to the G&S opera from whence it springs can appreciate the finesse of Mr. Kline's parody without the need for burlesque tittilation.

[george_b1]

I'd love to hear Anna Russel sing that!

 

George (The Old Fud)

[ed_schwartzreich]

I will try to post the image.

[prince_alfie]

Privet... anyone up for a suicide attempt after hearing that?