marc_lieberman1 Posted June 27, 2005 Share Posted June 27, 2005 In looking over the Nikon archives, it seems like there are basically two kinds of photographers here: Zoomers and Primers. The Zoomers fall into three catagories. First, there are professionals with fast zooms and unforgiving deadlines. These photags don't have time to change lenses. They may occasionally use monopods, but never tripods. They are looking for the "money shot" to please an editor or a bride (or bride's parents). Professional zoom people used to order proof sheets from a lab. Now they shoot digital. Professional zoom people drink Scotch, unless they are paparazzi, in which case they drink anything. Next, there are the "point-and-shoot" amatuers with their auto-focus SLRs always set to "P" mode and their 28mm-300mm Tamarons. Point-and-Shoot Zoom People know not the joys of fast lenses--because if they did, they'd have bought a couple of fast primes for the same money. Point and Shoot Zoom People are looking for the "record shot" without having move from the spot they were in when they got the idea to take take the picture in the first place. If the picture is in focus and the subject's eyes are not closed, the picture is a keeper. Quality of light and composition are not issues for Point-and-Shoot Zoomers. These photographers order 4"x6" glossy twin-pix from the local drug store. Point-and-shoot amatuers with 28mm-300mm Tamarons drink white zinfindel (sometimes Pinot Grigio) or lite beer out of the can. The third type of Zoom Person is the avid poser who buys a $1600 lens for his D100 to shoot his kid's little league games and birthday parties. He is the "photographer of the family." (Yes, the Poser Zoomer is always a man) He does not own a tripod. He impresses his friends by using words like "Bokeh." His kids and wife humor him as best they can, but they often lose patience. The Poser Zoomer rarely takes pictures of strangers, but when he does, it's from behind. His wife would kill him is she found out how much he spent on is big zoom lens. The Poser Zoom Guy drinks Chardonnay, imported beer out of frosted glasses, or cocktails with expensive vodka. Prime People are artists. They are more passionate than Zoom People. They wear black, smoke cigarettes, and graduated from the Rhode Island School of Design or Parsons or Cal Arts or some other fancy-shmancy art school. They "do street photography" and print their own work. They were abused as art students, and so are quick to put down amatuers with harsh critism. When they are not "doing street photography," Prime People schlep tripods. And they look cool doing it. (If a Poser Zoom Guy carried a tripod, he would look silly and embarrass his children.) Prime People wait for the Golden Hour to take pictures, except when they are "doing street photography." Prime People don't shoot landscapes with 35mm and don't own digital cameras. (Holgas or Lomos, yes. Pinhole cameras, definately. Digital, never.) Nobody knows how Prime People make a living. Nowadays, Prime People drink martinis. When Prime People have kids, they buy 28mm-300mm Tamarons. (For the record, I am a former point-and-shoot zoomer. Traded in the plastic Minolta and plastic Tamaron for the $1600 zoom to take photos of my kids. Wife found out. So I sold the zoom and bought a used rangefinder on ebay. No desire to ever be a pro-Zoomer. Fantasize about being a Primer, but threw my back out schlepping a tripod, never went to art school, and my wife and kids would leave me if I turned the bathroom into a darkroom. Anyone want to trade their 70-200 f2.8 VR for my Mamiya 7II w/80mm? ;-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marc_lieberman1 Posted June 27, 2005 Author Share Posted June 27, 2005 One more thing- It is an open secret that, deep down, all pro-Zoomers wish they could be Primers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ivan_verschoote1 Posted June 27, 2005 Share Posted June 27, 2005 Putting everyone with a tag on their head - sarcasm or stigmatism? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edpiercy Posted June 27, 2005 Share Posted June 27, 2005 A very good satire. Well written and funny. Just for the record, you might describe the rather uncomfortable situation that develops when artsy Primers run across their artsy Digie friend with their D70s or Digital Rebels. "But, you don't understand...this is much, mush better!!" they argue over a cold bottle of Kokanee or local microbrew. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
raczoliver Posted June 27, 2005 Share Posted June 27, 2005 I drink everything. What am I? Alcoholist? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
antonrussell Posted June 27, 2005 Share Posted June 27, 2005 I fall through the gaps in your taxonomy! I'm a point-and-shoot amateur with a manual focus SLR and a set of prime lenses, who only takes pictures of strangers from behind and wears black but never looks cool. I also drink everything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matthew Currie Posted June 27, 2005 Share Posted June 27, 2005 You forgot one other aspect of the true primer: his advice to any and all equipment questions will be to toss everything and get a manual camera, preferably meterless, with a 50 mm. lens, because that is the only way to learn photography right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mawz Posted June 27, 2005 Share Posted June 27, 2005 Matthew, don't forget the subset of Primers who insist that the 35mm is the one true prime, not the 50mm, which is unnatural. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arnabdas Posted June 27, 2005 Share Posted June 27, 2005 You didn't mention that Prime people rarely, if ever, engage in polygamy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ken_schroeder Posted June 27, 2005 Share Posted June 27, 2005 Good satire...Matthew and Adam are close. The correct lens is the 90(or 85 in a pinch). Theo Kisselbach, the legendary former Head of the Leica School in Wetzlar, referred to the "niner" as "the great teacher". Kidding aside, a manual camera with one lens is an excellent way to learn photography. Ansel recommended a 4x5 view camera for a year for "serious students". I believe there is much wisdom in Ansel's advice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
john_morris4 Posted June 27, 2005 Share Posted June 27, 2005 My 10-year-old daughter took a Nikon FG and 50mm f/1.8 lens along for her week at Disney World. She came back with lots of fun, interesting, and attractive pictures, and she never seemed to want a zoom lens. Probably just because she doesn't know any better, though.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marc_lieberman1 Posted June 27, 2005 Author Share Posted June 27, 2005 Careful, John. Your daughter sounds like a Primer. Most kids her age only want I-Pods and candy-colored P&S digicams and wouldn't be caught dead with the dorky camera you gave her. Odds are she'll have her belly button pierced by the time she's 12. ;-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ben conover Posted June 29, 2005 Share Posted June 29, 2005 That's a great post, an entertaining and open-minded approach to a good question. I am a Primer but would love to be a Zoomer for a day. The SsScotch would slow me down though, so needing fast lenses. My only concern is that being a purist I would go for a Canon 7 rangefinder wih superspeed 0.75 lens, thereby losing my Zoomer status altogether. I went to Arty farty schools and I have an Arty farty job, but I never wore black, I like bright colours and normal people. I do have 'plans' to start a darkroom. Nearest I ever got to being a zoomer was 35-70 2.8 on a Nikon F4s, sold it all. I wouldn't trade my Fuji 69's, Rolleicord 4, and Mamiya 35mm's for a 70-200 f2.8 VR although I probably should, then I could sell the 70-200 f2.8 VR and buy into LF. I like to drink Chanmpagne outa the bottle, but I gave up drinking. I think the 85mm PC Micro Nikor should be the standard 'normal' lens for primers. Cheers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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