Worst wedding ever

I'll start this by saying I'm pretty experienced at weddings, not some newbie

who's clueless about what happens. Yesterday was my 32nd of this year, for

example, but it was the worst I have ever had to deal with. I have NEVER in

several years of shooting, come across such an unco-operative group of people.

 

Throughout the formals all family members and all other guests were deliberately

obstructive and non-co-operating. Nothing I did or said, and nothing the bride's

brother said, made any difference. They would fail to come when asked, ignore

any cajoling, drift over very very slowly eventually when the bride herself

asked them to make things happen quicker so they [the couple] could enjoy the

day more, and then would stand in hidden places ignoring my efforts to move them.

 

I have never lost my temper on a job but yesterday I got very very close to

asking why people were so intent on ruining the couple's big day with their

stupidity and then telling the couple there was no point me even trying so I was

off home if people were so deliberately and cynically determined not to

co-operate. Over and over again they did everything they could to make my job

difficult - it was almost as if a memo had gone round between the guests telling

them to make the photographs miserable for the bride and groom. Dumb stupidity

is the only explanation I can come up with.

 

Example: "Sir, I just need you to move from behind the groom to the end of the

line please. Sir, if you could come to the end of the line please. Sir? Thank

you, now I just need you to come next to this lady here so you're not hidden

behind the groom. If you could move now that would be great so we can get

everyone back to their drinks nice and quickly. Ok, [to the groom], the

gentleman here seems reluctant to move so I'm afraid he won't be in the shot."

 

Groom: "Uncle, can you just do what the photographer has asked?" [uncle then

slopes to the end of the line and looks over at the bride rather than looking at

me as everyone else is etc etc...]

 

There was an Uncle Bob too taking every shot that I did, but a few seconds or

minutes after so not intrusive enough to warrant me asking him to stop as per

the sole photographer clause in my contract - his intent (copying me so

slavishly and exactly) was clearly to show the bride and groom how great a

photographer he was by aiming to give them an identical set of photographs to

mine. I noticed when doing table shots that his flash was tripped over to

"slave" so fired a LOT of shots to trigger it and drain the batteries. Childish,

but satisfying. He appeared to be struggling during the cake cutting and first

dance as a result which at least gave me something to feel happy about at the

end of the day.

 

By the end of the day I was on the verge of giving up photography completely.

Funny how a summer of referrals and positive feedback can evaporate through one

nightmare crowd control experience.

Must have been in the stars yesteday.

 

Had a day not dissimilar that started with the limo breaking down 1 block from the church and the driver just saying "nothing I can do about it."!

 

Some days are just like that. Take a look at some images you love from another day and tell yourself "some days I really earn the $$"

 

Amazing to me after years of this that more of them are not horrible!

 

My sympathy on a rotten day and my hope that better will come for us all

 

Brooke

I used to be an infantry sergeant in Vietnam; I'm 6'5"/250# and I've been shooting weddings since 1975. If people don't want to "play" then my sergeant stripes start to show. I've never had "anyone" not do as they were told - when they were told! - and I don't care what they think of me, I'm hired to get the job DONE!<br>

<img src=http://i1.tinypic.com/n2j33m.jpg>

Bob:

 

I'm sorry to hear about your bad day but I found this "I noticed when doing table shots that his flash was tripped over to "slave" so fired a LOT of shots to trigger it and drain the batteries." especially funny. Good for you for getting a little pay back!

"Sir, I just need you to move from behind the groom to the end of the line please. Sir, if you could come to the end of the line please. Sir? Thank you, now I just need you to come next to this lady here so you're not hidden behind the groom.

 

At that point you have witnesses ..you leave him where he wants to be positioned...you have done your part. Many people~ simply do not like their photo taken. You kindly asked > all one can do. I would just leave him to his fate..always to be hidden in the group shot.

I can sympathize as I had a bad one recently as well (including bride/mother screaming, 20+ attendants, and a near decapitation -- just another wedding).

 

When we arrive at the wedding, we like to think that everyone involved (wedding party, guests, vendors) is invested in making the B&G happy. However, that is not always the case for we rarely know the "back stories" of all the actors in this play. All we really know about the people there is that everyone who is there accepted an invitation to come -- their behaviour after that is up to them. Part of being a wedding photographer (as you well know) is adapting to the situation (Adapt, Improvise, Overcome is how one previous poster put it, I believe) but sometimes...just sometimes...a Taser would come in oh so handy....

I've had situations like that. One time, I was a second away from pulling out my whistle (attached to my keychain). I do as much as I can and then I watch the the bride and groom's reactions. If they care enough about the shots, they will ask for people's attention and cooperation directly. If that doesn't do it re the unccoperative throngs, there really is nothing else anyone can do. You get the couple's permission to just shoot as is, or scratch the shot(s). In situations like this, always document the proceedings right after, so it is fresh in your mind. Also, always get the couple's OK to proceed one way or another or you may have a problem later if the couple decides to give you grief over missed groups.

Should you ever run into this situation again, simple do more images of the bride-and-groom, and fewer of the guests who want to remain wall-flowers. Less trouble, and the bride will be in a better mood when the reception finishes.....

Some days you're the pigeon, other days you're the statue!

9/15/2007 also was not a good day for me either. Just as I arrived (on time) at the bride's mother's home my phone rang and it was an angry sounding mother-of-the-bride. I told her "I'm out front" and then went in. She was not in a good mood...the rings were missing and I was, in her mind, late.

 

As it turns out, the ceremony time had been pushed up a half hour. I wasn't told this until we were at the ceremony (again, I thought we had a good half hour until "bell time") and OOPS, my flash is not cooperating. I use a flash bracket and had already taken some time to assemble the whole thing. So I had to disassemble it and then put a back up flash and flash cord (I had no time to figure out which was broken), which added more time. At some point during this time I was informed that the ceremony was supposed to start and I finally asked the MOB, "Isn't the ceremony supposed to be at noon?" Her face went from angry to surprised and said, "Oh my...I must have forgot to tell you!" Ugh...

 

The ceremony went well for the circumstances. I didn't have time to test the light (okay, I had about a minute) so I had to wing it during the first few processionals. The pictures didn't turn out too bad...although during the unity candle lighting they had the table positioned right by a clear window and this didn't bode well with my manual flash settings...the photos should be recoverable in PP though (thank goodness for RAW mode!)

 

The equipment decided to start working again at the reception and the rest of the day went fine. But I left that day with a bad feeling because even though the equipment breaking was not my fault I know (and the guests knew) I held up the ceremony. Lesson learned though...verify all times within the last few days leading up to the ceremony!

 

And in case anyone was wondering, I did check my equipment earlier in the day and everything was working fine when doing photos at the MOB's house.

Jack,

 

What the heck was that all about?

In Seven years of having my own business I did a lot of weddings. Murphy says if things can go bad, they will. Establishing a good relationship with the brides and mothers, etc. before the wedding really helps when things start to go bad. I blew a roll of 120 inside a church because I forgot to set the aperture. The bride and I had enough of a relationship that I just directly told her that I blew the roll and could we take the wedding party outside and redo it. In the end, she loved the pictures and found out I am a human being. I have had people so hung over that they could barely get through the ceremony let alone smile. I've shot gangsters(unbeknownst to me at the time) and told them in a group they looked likes the Sopranos to get them to smile which they did but it turned out more like a grimace. I have had to organize a 250 person wedding at the last minute because no one else had and the groom was frantic. Again, having a good relationship with him allowed me to quietly and forcefully calm him down. I have had to, with a friendly JOP, move an entire wedding inside because of a raging Atlantic storm disrupted an outdoor wedding that had no plan B and the guests were showing up. We hired an Inn at the last minute. I have been pushed, shoved, had my shots stolen, had my tripod knocked over, had hostile officiants where I had to sneak ceremony shots, people who didn't pay bills until I pressured them, and had only two dissatisfied customers over that seven years. They got partial refunds even though I did satisfactory pictures. I did not spend any time fighting with them. Some things are just easier to write off. All part of the game. I was there to serve the customer not the other way around. However, also being a newspaper photographer I knew how to elbow my way into a position to take a picture. Lots more things happened. I was in a resort area and most weddings were out of doors and most of my customers were from out of town. I developed my own radar and as I got smarter I refused what I thought would be problem bookings. My JOP friend did a couple of those that I turned down and my suspicions were confirmed. In my opinion, just based on my experience, this is all part of the job. I was asked to do a wedding recently and turned it down. I enjoyed mhy business but when I quit I was successful but I had had enough.

I had one of those days too this past Saturday Bob. I have shot tons of portraits and this was my 19th wedding. I was really looking forward to it too because I had been working closely with the family (engagements, bridal shower, rehersal) then the day of the wedding comes and people are running behind (normal) there is absolutly NO room at the reception area for myself and my second shooter to get in so we have to take pictures where we can, or through open doors *sigh*. All guest were to go to the reception site right after the ceremony but some how we had a few left overs who wanted to stand right behind me and shoot. Or the grooms father instead of getting in with group photos was too busy taking pics with his camera phone! I think every once in a while we get these weddings to remind us this isn't for the faint at heart.

QUESTION: how many steps to the bar was it? ;)