Requests to shoot for free...Advice needed

<p>Two years ago I photographed a wedding for free. At the time I'd been shooting weddings for 3 years and hadn't planned on photographing the wedding, but when I arrived as a guest with a camera I discovered they had not hired a photographer so I took lots and lots of photos. The wedding was for a childhood neighbor who I had not seen in many years. When he got the disc he never called or wrote a thank you note. It was a big lesson for me.<br>

Now the sister of the free wedding recipiant wants me to photographer her wedding - for free. The wedding is on a Saturday in July.<br>

I emailed her a very kind reply letting her know that I'd be happy to give her a huge discount (80%) and photograph the wedding $250 (prints for sale at $5 with a disc if they purchase $350 in prints). She was shocked that I would charge her because we grew up next door to each other and I photographed her brothers wedding for free. She then asked if I wouldn't mind just attending as a guest and taking photos.<br>

Any tips on how I can very politely let her know that I'm not going to work for free? Her parents still live next door to my parents so I do not want to just blow her off. Any compromises that I'm not thinking of? Do other people have this problem?<br>

I was considering telling her that if the date was not booked by June I'd agree to shoot for $100 which is essentially the cost of the deprecation of my gear.</p>

 

<p>Have you heard the saying ... a prophet has no honor in his hometown or in his house? I have a feeling this situation is a non winner (for you) whatever you decide to do.</p>

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<p>I don't think you should shoot wedding for free or $100...it will keep coming asking for free, next her husband's sister, brother, another relatives, etc. As a neighbor, and family friend, you have already give them a "friend & family" discount, so, my suggestion is, keep your original reply ($250 and prints for sale at $5 with a disc if they purchase $350 in prints)<br>

After did couple friends' wedding for free, I found out they don't really appreciate much as "Paid" photographer. After that, I never work for free. </p>

<p>I wouldn't even have offered as much as the 80 percent discount you did, but now that it's out there, you can't rescind. But, I wouldn't lower it any either, so forget the $100 offer regardless of any other offers going your way.<br>

The bride's option of having you there as a guest who just takes pictures is essentially a sugar-coated attempt to get what she wants.<br>

There are at least two sides to this: as shocked as she is that you'd charge her $250 along with the other stipulations you set is as shocked as you can be that she'd ask for more.<br>

Be prepared for her to scratch you from the guest list when you make it clear that you won't take any pictures that day.</p>

<p>I agree with Wen. Cut it off now or you'll just keep getting requests for free wedding photography. All you need to do is send a nice e-mail saying that your wedding photography business has grown since you last photographed her brother's wedding, and you can no longer afford to photograph any wedding for free. I would not even make the offer to shoot for $100.</p>

<p>When you shoot for immediate family, shoot for free, but only if you want to. Its that or charge your full price. People are unhappy with anything in between.</p>

<p>this is a slippery slope. is there any particular reason why you would want to attend the wedding? is she really close to you? if she isn't then don't bother attending. tell her that you have a paid booking for that day. if she agrees to the discounted price offered before as a goodwill gesture, just a favour to her family, you would do the shoot, otherwise you would have a decline. mention in your letter that the credit crunch has affected your trade in such a way that it is not possible for you to turn down work.</p>

<p>either way, you are doing her a favour.</p>

<p>First of all, I'm a videographer, but have been through this many times before.<br>

The primary thing to remember is nothing done for free is appreciated. If you do it for free or next to free, it has no value to the recipient. It also shows a lack of respect for yourself.<br>

I told my own sister I would videotape my niece's wedding but it would still be half price. I never do free. I have been burned by ungrateful friends a time or two as you were and I just won't do it any longer. </p>

 

<p>Don't shoot it for free - or $100 - unless you really, really want to. Would they get a plumber to show up for free? I don't think so. Although I don't shoot weddings, I learned long ago that if I'm a guest, I don't take a camera. I just enjoy the event.</p>

<p>You could turn up with a P&S camera :-)</p>

<p>I'm sure I would attend... and unfortunately have my cameras in the shop for clean/lube/adjust that weekend. Of course, I would let the bride know a few days in advance.</p>

<p ><strong><em>"Any tips on how I can very politely let her know that I'm not going to work for free?"</em></strong> </p>

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<p >I would telephone her and simply state that this a business, and, you do not work for free. </p>

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<p >I would not re-mention the discount offer you have already made.</p>

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<p >If the topic of her Brother's Wedding comes up, then I would simple state (not explain, but STATE) that was a time ago and that you made an “on the spot decision” based upon arriving at the Wedding and noting that there was no Professional Photographer hired.</p>

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<p >On two other matters: </p>

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<p >When you acted kindly and took Photographs at the Brother's Wedding and supplied him with the disc of your work, IMO it would have been better business to include an invoice at your full price, marked "Gratis / Paid in Full - with Regards" </p>

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<p >Also, when the Sister contacted you, asking for the same account as her Brother, I think it would have been better business to respond politely, supplying her with your current rate card and availability - (I would not have offered any discount).</p>

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<p >If you do decide to give consideration, it is better for a business to supply a gift, showing clearly the value, than "discounting" the service or goods.</p>

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<p ><strong><em>"Her parents still live next door to my parents so I do not want to just blow her off." </em></strong></p>

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<p >I understand this aspect of the question. It appears the Bride-to-be has no endearing emotional ties to you. The fact that there is a possibility that she, or her Parents will be disgruntled, is quite irrelevant to your Business, and IMO should be irrelevant to you, also. </p>

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<p >I have a Daughter in Business: I would side with my Daughter in this regard . . . the Bride to be might get grumpy momentarily, but I doubt it would cause a big neighborhood riot. I think you need to focus on your business, and not on this tangential emotional aspect of this situation. </p>

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<p >It seems the Bride-to-be is working you - if she is, her leverage is twofold: your kindness to her Brother and the fact that your Parents live where they live. Once you isolate the first and ignore the second, you are on the same playing field and both of you are then bound by your Business’s rules – and not the Bride's postulations. </p>

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<p >WW</p>

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<p> Get booked for that day !</p>

<p >I would ask you two questions, one do you want to do photograph weddings as a profession or are you doing it only as a hoppy? Two is your work worth paying for? I have not seen your work there for I can’t give you any advice on the second one. But if you want to do it for fun and that is it I do not see a problem. If you are going to make a profession of this as small business, I would still do it (for free). But I would get the couple to sign something saying that you can use there pictures for advertisement. They get there wedding done for free and you can build your portfolio. All the time there are no bad filling between ether families. I would also tell her that any further shouts would cost here or any one else your going rate. </p>

<p>Your original offer was generous. Considering the fact that they passed would be the only answer that I needed to hear.</p>

<p>Ask her to detail your truck for free.</p>

<p>I don't take my camera to anything that I either don't personally WANT to photograph or to which I am not being paid to photograph. Stating a full price and including "paid in full" or "booking discount" or "myspace" discount is a better way to go if you are actually going to do the work. But if deep down inside.... you just really don't WANT to shoot this wedding then you shouldn't. Your heart won't be in it and it will show in the photos. I get passionate about the weddings I shoot and that is what makes them fun. Catching those moments.</p>

<p>If you despise the people and situation then it just won't work.</p>

<p>ID</p>

<p>FYI... I've been "invited" to "attend" functions before... and I've showed up with my phone camera or my really nice 4mp Sanyo Xacti cam. I think they get the point soon enough.</p>

<p>I've done a lot of bending pricing for friends and clients. It usually works out badly. My new philosophy: If they are close friend or family and I want to make a gift, I do it for free/cost of supplies. Otherwise, full price.<br>

Most of my clients have been my friends and family, but they understand that paying me is a sign of appreciation and respect. I've not really had a good experience bending the pricing. Either it's never enough for the cheapskate client, or I feel used and resent the work.<br>

Here's how I'd approach it: If you're invited to the wedding as a friend, leave the camera at home to enjoy the wedding and be present. If she's not inviting you to show up without the camera, she's not a friend and should be charged in full (or whatever your previous offer was) as a business transaction. Stand up for your own work, and realize that not everything you do will please everyone.</p>

<p>"Her parents still live next door to my parents so I do not want to just blow her off"<br>

It sounds to me like you haven't blown her off. You made a more than reasonable offer. For some reason there are a lot of people out there who believe that this isn't actually a business and professional photographers don't deserve to be compensated for their services. If they have a problem with your offer then they can go and shop around. They'll probably be surprised (not so pleasantly either). If they still don't want to pay you then I say go Nancy Reagan style and just say no.<br>

I got burned in a similar way photographing my cousins wedding last June. Photographed and helped cater it. Still haven't heard so much as a simple thank you. Ah the things we do for family. Bitter much? Nah...</p>

<p>"No good deed goes unpunished."</p>

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William brings about a brilliant point.<br>

Don't discount yourself. I've, on the odd occasion in other fields of business have chucked a freebie toward someone. I make mention of my full charge for the job then iterate my reason for no charge or an amount to cover costs. In the vast majority of cases I'd have that one free offer come back and pay itself threefold because I was refered for the great work.<br>

People in boating are a little different and understanding than photographers vs the public after all you don't just suck on a hose full of air when you're cleaning a hull whereas the public's perception of photography is point and click and an hour for development. ;)<br>

In this case you haven't done so however you need to empathize that her brother's wedding was a matter of circumstance. If you were to offer her a package with her "offering" to cover your costs I would do so but not expect anything in return.<br>

Take a little lesson from this encounter and move on. Don't discount yourself, if you don't reflect confidence in your work's worth then people will never see that value.</p>

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<p>Thanks for the invite, but I have other things that were planned for day. Best wishes on your wedding day.</p>

<p>Manuel</p>

<p>As others say, don't start to offer further concessions. I'm not a professional photographer, but I'm surprised how sometimes people I don't know well ask me to for professional services (my field is software and computers). Since I have little interest in solving boring problems for free for people who I barely know, my answer is always no. From your description of the situation, it seems that you haven't had much contact with the bride since childhood. Given that and the fact that from last time you didn't get even a thank you -note, I suggest that you make your offer final, don't reserve the date before the deal is closed and just explain that you're making a living out of this and can't afford to start working for free. IMHO, her directly requesting that you do it for free is downright rude.</p>

<p><em>I wouldn't even have offered as much as the 80 percent discount you did, but now that it's out there, you can't rescind.</em></p>

<p>Not true.</p>

<p>Unless an offer is made with some sort of binding language (no such langauge was mentioned in the post) it can be revoked once the revocation is communicated. A offer met with a counteroffer is a rejected offer. The communications of the parties will show if such circumstances exist.</p>

<p>Even socially speaking its reasonable to forgo this proposal. An enormous courtesy discounted price was given and recieved. It was either rejected outright or at least met with grudging disapproval. I guess the former, as the guest reaction is just a disguise for the original shoot for free proposal. Since the recipient is offended, there is no outrage to opt out of the offending situation.</p>

<p>As to Mary Ann's question, the answer is the same as any other type of vendor may give. It seems best to politely explain the whole level of involvement in wedding photography (or whatever service is involved) as well as the potenial or actual loss of paying business from another wedding (if otherwise not on the guest list), that the brother's shoot was unexpected and a formal advance request to shoot carries responsibilities not present in the brother's situation. Since the sensibilties concern the parents rather than the sister, perhaps they should be told this stuff. That might not be completely graceful but the reality is the parents will only get the sister's scorned version otherwise. If the relationship with the parents permit it, they can be told that this is a surprise it was assumed the prior work was unsatisfactory as you never heard back from the son after all the work. If they are reasonable, they will tell the daughter to lay off.</p>

<p>I had that happen to me also but the second time I did the shoot I just billed them for the cost of supplies and that came to about $200.00 by the time it was all done and said, then the bride tipped me $100.00. It was still alot of work and running around. I still got too eat great food and BS with all the people I knew at the wedding and it was a get away weekend for me and the wife.</p>