Ordering new gear - need "stealth" delivery because of partner....

I am very close to ordering some new gear.
My woman, to be direct, would draw and quarter me if she knew.

I will be having delivery (to Europe from USA) by UPS or FedEx, as those are the
two options from my NYC dealer of choice. Remember that it is difficult or
impossible to have delivery abroad to a non-billing address.

What can I do? Is it possible to arrange "self pickup" at the FedEx/UPS center?
I have missed a package on occasion and have picked it up myself before... but
can I arrange it upon ordering or during transit?


Come on, I know I am not alone with this situation! ;-)

 

I am fairly sure that you can arrange to pick up at the local UPS/FedEx center (in the USA anyway). But I have no idea how you would go about that. I would call FedEx/UPS and ask them specifically.

Ahhh....the joy of having to sneak stuff.

 

UPS or FedEx will come at your door, and they seem to only just call the phone number on the packing slip after they've tried that, so if your amazon of a housemate is at home during delivery hours, you're in big trouble.
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The safest bet would probably to get a friend of yours to make the purchase for you, and get the stuff delivered to his address... or, if he turns out not to be at home during delivery hours, he could get them to deliver it at your workplace, for instance.

 

This is terrible - aren't relationships all about being able to be open and honest with each other? Just tell her it's 30 quids worth of old gear from ebay. If she questions the receipt for 500 quid, just tell her that's what has to be done for insurance purposes. At least this way you haven't got to be deceitful about having made a purchase )

 

1st thing I would do is hope she doesn't google your name and find this post

 

Most of us old dogs know you're just postponing the inevitable with stunts like this--ergo, you're new at it, stupid, or both 8^)!

 

"This is terrible - aren't relationships all about being able to be open and honest with each other?"
Hahahahahahaha.
Yeah, that's the way it's been since the beginning of time. Open and honest 100%.
You let me know how it goes telling your wife/significant-other that "Yes,she looks fat in that dress and should lose a few pounds". Then she can tell you that "No actually, she's had much better lovers. And you are definitely on the small side".

 

You guys...jeeeze! This is obviously a 'male' thread ya got going here, so I feel compelled to insert my woman's point of view. 1st you are all absolutely correct; and yet, you're all so very, very wrong! (With the exception of Gary; listen to him Mr. Fred.) And please don't involve the poor delivery guys in your scheme. Just pick it up at a local office. For goodness sake! MEN!

 

PS-I may sound a bit angry, but I actually find this discussion quite humorous! Yet, still...MEN! Jeeeze!

 

Me: SWM, fit, honest, secure. Internet savvy. Passionate about photography and digital imaging. Seeks SWF for long term relationship, marriage a possibility. Non drinker,non smoker,non golfer.

You: SWF, secure,liberal, creative, artistic person who understands need for a balance between work and pleasure and has live and let live philosophy about finances. (This may entail large and small boxes from UPS and FEDEX for duration of your natural life. Understanding of technical instruments and micro electronics a definite plus..

 

Is that a proposition?

 

i thinks she likes the honolulu more than the actual description...

 

Go buy her some great stuff from a Victoria's secret store. Then, when your gear package arrives, be very secretive about it, don't show her anything, refuse to tell her anything. When Valentine's day comes up, give her the lingerie and tell her THAT's what the package was...
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Fortunately, I'm unmarried and the most grief I've ever gotten about my spending was when a girlfriend was pressuring me on why I wasn't saving for an engagement ring, but then she turned out to be psycho.

 

Mathew, theat psycho thing, was that before or after you told her that is is so much more fun to photograph a ring than to wear one?

 

Chicken! Buy the gear and take the flak.

 

You could add your office billing address to your credit card. I did that when ordering
surprise presents for my wife.

 

Chris is right: "Buy the stuff and take the flak." Keeping secrets and hiding things destroys confidence and ultimately relationships. After 55 years of successful marriage, we have learned acceptance and forgiveness. We all have faults. I have several, one of which is collecting camera gear.

 

I would suggest delivery to your marriage/partnership counsellor and you two be there to
receive it.

If you are not in counseling already, I would suggest starting from there and let the gear lie
dormant for a while: stuff will just get bigger and better next year!

 

Kind of off the photographic topic, but if it's your money and you can afford the gear, I think you should just buy the gear and take the heat. If it's mutual money, then perhaps you need to think about it. Might she be right? If you feel this kind of action is appropriate, are you ready to make it a habit for both of you? Is there a possibility you're fooling yourself about how much she knows? Can you both afford to buy things this way? If you're just stuck with a person who isn't letting you do what you ought to be able to do, then I suggest you make a durable arrangement such as Thomas Hardy suggests, but be prepared for it all to blow up sooner or later.

 

My faith that good, kind, honest men still exist has been restored (w/the last several posts). Thank you, gentlemen.

 

Domestic counseling available.... 5 cents.

(Is kind of funny Lori. Menfolk depend on fairer sex to keep the rudder steady sometime )

 

is that psycho woman still available?

 

Gear Acquisition Guilt. In your partner's eyes you probably have "too much" gear already. ;-)

 

The psycho woman is available, just be forewarned, she'll expect an engagement ring a few weeks into the relationship. She's physically abusive, enjoys long timeouts and physical restraining, and in her spare time likes to throw kitchen utensils around, especially at people. She's somewhat sleuthy as well, exemplifying excellent stalking skills, but don't worry, once you catch her doing that she'll get a little more flamboyant with activities such as tire slashing and car-keying.
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It was fun for a while, but alas I found that I was better off (and much safer) without her. I can only imagine what could have happened to me if I had tried to do stealth ordering of photo gear

 

True story. A former work colleague was married to a wife who had the freedom to use his credit card. When mrs work colleague maxed out his credit, he promptly confronted her. And get this sportsfans, she says. " I did this to encourage YOU to advance yourself at work and get a raise."

Divorce was not long in coming. Unfortunate. Small children involved. I do believe- correct me- that bickering over money trumps infidelity in marriages. So what is the effective way to deal with such disputes? (Ps: My wife will arch her eyes sometimes when I look lustfully at the latest greatest slambang item, but she keeps a distance on my hobbies and I do likewise on hers. Mutual arms conrol pact..

 

Ha Ha here is advice from a woman. Buy the gear. Its a concrete act that she can get over ( provided your not losing your home and selling off your firstborn to pay for it) If you were to hide it and get caught that is more abstract and could potentiontially come back at any time to haunt you. Here is an example... you are friendly with the waitress at a restaraunt. Well you cant be accused of buying camera gear from her... however you were caught lying in the past and secretly ordered secret things, so who is to say you dont secretly like her more than your partner, or you want to go back there NEXT time to see her, or were possibly ordering HER things secretly online... lol ok well a bit extreme but lying and trust apply to all aspects of your relationship, buying camera gear is kinda a minor thing. She wont leave you over gear ( and if she does good riddence) but trust issues can be a breaking factor... just order the gear hide the reciepts downplay the cost and by her somthing nice... my .02

 

Yeah, I agree with the others above, be square and stand tall, but put on your flak jacket.