steve_feldman2 Posted August 18, 2003 Share Posted August 18, 2003 Murphey is alive and well and living inside my camera bag. Here's my thoughts. Some original. But some stolen. Everybody jump in and add a few of your own. I'm taking bets on the final count. 1. No two meters agree. 2. Just when you think you understand your materials, the manufacturer discontinues or improves it. Making you start the learning cycle all over again. 3. When man makes a sharper lens. G-d will create a fuzzier object. 4. You can't make a good image in Fresno. 5. f8 @ 1/60 is better than anything you picked. 6. A butter knife used to tighten a miniature screw, will cause $50.00 more damage than the price of the proper jeweler's screwdriver. 7. Film is sensitive to thought. 8. Fog will roll in 5 minutes before your sunset shot. 9. Fog will roll out 5 minutes before your foggy sunrise. 10.Important things are always simple. 11. The simple things are always hard. 12. The filter you want is the filter you left at home. 13. New batteries never fail. Old batteries fail only when new back up batteries are left at home. 14. If there's a way - it won't work - for you. 15. Traveling with significant other on long car photo trip is a good idea. Not. 16. The weather is always better (poofy clouds) for photographers who are better than you. 17. Fall color in the Northeast is always a week before or a week after you get there. 18. Flashes don't. 19. You packed all of your film holders. Too bad the film's in the box on the kitchen table. NEXT: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alex_hawley Posted August 18, 2003 Share Posted August 18, 2003 When it comes time for critical focus, you find the loupe is back home in the darkroom, not in the camera bag. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leslie_wall Posted August 18, 2003 Share Posted August 18, 2003 Oh yea, the dark slide comes out BEFORE you take the shot not BEFORE you pull the holder. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Troll Posted August 18, 2003 Share Posted August 18, 2003 LOL, Leslie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steve sherman Posted August 18, 2003 Share Posted August 18, 2003 How could you forget the Dark Slide God? As soon as you are about to or already have pulled the slide the wind kicks up noticably. At least it does with my film holders. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carl smith Posted August 18, 2003 Share Posted August 18, 2003 Leslie, don't even go there! I'm lookin forward to teachin another year of photo class, and plenty of dark slide blunders. Never mind the times I screw it up. lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
christian_olivet Posted August 18, 2003 Share Posted August 18, 2003 The dark slide that you pulled out is the outside one and not the one that is facing the lens inside the camera. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carl smith Posted August 18, 2003 Share Posted August 18, 2003 You forget to turn the locks on the darkslide and pick the film back up by the tabs. out comes dark slides Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chris_jordan5 Posted August 19, 2003 Share Posted August 19, 2003 --For nighttime photography: The length of the exposure is directly proportional to the chance of having forgotten your watch. --The chances of the light meter batteries running out are directly proportional to the number of months you will be staying in a remote mountain village with no mail service. --The chances of one of the tripod leg-securing clamps snapping are proportional to the square of the number of miles hiked, times the required height of the tripod for the killer image you just found. --The chances of the lab scratching your film equal the square of the importance of the image. --The chances of scratching/kinking/smudging a print are inversely proportional to the number of pieces of same-sized printing paper left in your supply. ~cj Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jorge_gasteazoro4 Posted August 19, 2003 Share Posted August 19, 2003 corollary to Leslie's law....you should pull the dark slide facing the lens, not the ground glass. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alec1 Posted August 19, 2003 Share Posted August 19, 2003 Did you mean to say Murphy's Law? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
richard_cochran Posted August 19, 2003 Share Posted August 19, 2003 <ol> <li> In a group photo, there will always be at least one person with his eyes closed or with an awfully stupid expression. <li> If rule 1 is ever untrue, the one shot where everyone looks nice will be the only one of the session that the photographer or processor ruined by a technical error. <li> The best way to make the phone ring is to start loading a developing tank. <li> If the phone doesn't ring, the dog will start whining and scratching at the door, indicating that if he doesn't go outside RIGHT NOW, the carpet will need cleaning. <li> The best photo ops happen right after you run out of film. <li> Your best shot of a lifetime will turn out to be a quick grab shot that you weren't really expecting, and a) even though everyone else likes it, <em>you</em> will forever be haunted by the way you could have done it better if you had been prepared, b) any time in the future when you ARE really well prepared, the magic moment won't happen. </ol> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
john_kasaian1 Posted August 19, 2003 Share Posted August 19, 2003 The number of items left at home is proportional to the number of miles traveled. The farther you go to find snow that dosen't look like stale cake frosting, the more it actually will look like stale cake frosting. If you pack your camera into the wilderness on a mule, you'll end up with more good shots of the mule than you will of the wilderness. What you just bought on ebay won't be what you think you just bought on ebay. Weegee could take better pictures with a Speed Graphic than I can with a Sinar. You won't discover that you've left the (tripod, loupe, cable release...you name it) at home until you've left your time zone. ......Fresno??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
www.graemehird.com Posted August 19, 2003 Share Posted August 19, 2003 The time spent goofing off in forums is directly proportional to the number of mistakes a photographer will make on the next outing.<p> Go make some <strike>mistakes</strike> photos!<p> Graeme Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chiba Posted August 19, 2003 Share Posted August 19, 2003 Contrary to the Laws of Physics, and no matter how many times you've done it before, if you want the GG image to move left, the first time you pan the camera will *always* move it right, regardless of the actual pan direction... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jorge_gasteazoro4 Posted August 19, 2003 Share Posted August 19, 2003 The number of times you trip over the tripod or jar the camera before taking the shot is proportional to the time spending focusing, tilting and composing the shot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ralph_barker Posted August 19, 2003 Share Posted August 19, 2003 How many Murphey's Laws can there be? Almost endless. Remember, he's Catholic, and therefore prevented from practicing safe says. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lex_jenkins Posted August 19, 2003 Share Posted August 19, 2003 20. Supply and Demand 1: The greater your demand for an unpopulated landscape or architectural study, the greater the supply of hobos, bums, street people and kids who want to get in the shot. 21. Supply and Demand 2: The greater your demand for interesting hobos, bums, street people and kids to populate your shot the lesser the supply. 22. Supply and Demand 3: The greater the supply of interesting hobos, bums, street people and kids to populate your shot to greater their demands for spare change. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ole_tjugen Posted August 19, 2003 Share Posted August 19, 2003 When you've stopped down the lens and set the time, remember that old Compound shutters need to be switchd from "T" to "M" BEFORE you pull the dark slide. The cable release you brought won't fit your new lens. IR film doesn't like to be left (in holders) in the back seat of a car on a very hot day. You used the leaky holder on the one important shot - you must have trashed a good holder instead... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
curtis_nelson Posted August 19, 2003 Share Posted August 19, 2003 The chance that a tripod leg or camera bag will be in the picture is inversely proportional to the length of time spent setting up your camera. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pvp Posted August 19, 2003 Share Posted August 19, 2003 <B>The Quick Release Corollary:</B> After you've schlepped your gear five miles, you set up the tripod and grab the camera only to discover that you borrowed the QR plate for a different camera, which is on the kitchen table. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jim_rice3 Posted August 19, 2003 Share Posted August 19, 2003 One day, the black side of darkslide exposed, white side unexposed will strike you as absurdly counter-intutative. You will vow to begin doing it "right", convention be damned. You will, therefore, *never* know which film has been exposed, and which has not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pat_kearns1 Posted August 19, 2003 Share Posted August 19, 2003 You've calculated filter factor and made your exposure for the filter in the bag, NOT on your lens. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jorge_gasteazoro4 Posted August 19, 2003 Share Posted August 19, 2003 The more time you spend calculating filter factors, the greater the chance you will forget to set it on the lens. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darin_cozine Posted August 19, 2003 Share Posted August 19, 2003 The 'HIGH' slide falls out of your light meter while covering that beach wedding. The female model jumps on the back of the male model for a fun candid.. and they both fall over backwards. You finally get that great shot with your last sheet of film.. then as you insert the darkslide you hear a crunch and realize that the film wasnt seated in the film holder correctly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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