"Ideas"...

Recently, I've had a few acquaintances (who know that I'm a photographer) tell me something to the effect of, "my friend does

photography too. Check out her website, it might give you some ideas"! I'm sure these people mean well, and I try to just brush it off,

after all, I have my own "ideas" and have a few places I go when I feel like I need some inspiration... but I'm curious to know if others

out there have experienced the same thing... Anyone? How do you handle it? Laugh it off? Make some sarcastic remark about

how you don't tell them how to do their jobs, so quit suggesting how you do yours?? :).

<p>I always look to see what they like. You never know, you might see something inspiring, you might find out something about human nature. I'd rather have people suggest other photographers than talk about gear.</p>

<p>"I'm sure these people mean well,..."</p>

<p>So why are you taking offense to a remark that they mean to be helpful? Why not just say thank-you and move on?</p>

<p>I guess I'm lucky. Nobody shares their "ideas" with me. ;-)</p>

<p>Hmm...I think we need more context. </p>

<p>Are you having some sort of shooter's block? Do they not like or appreciate your style? Are they clueless when it comes to photography? Were you guys talking specifically about photography? Or waht?</p>

I don't neccesarily take offense... I'm not sure exactly how I feel about it. And no, no photographer's block.

Background: it's happened four times (twice from the same person). The first time it was from a woman who just fond

out that was what I did and she offered up her friends website. I did check it out, but when I did I quickly realized this

Photographer and I had very different styles (heavy photoshop and "special effects" aren't my style). The person that

did it twice just showed me a photo from Pinterest that she thought I might like... It was actually a newborn shot that

I've done before, then yesterday she sent me an e-mail with a link to her friends maternity photos (because she

"knows I have one coming up"... I've done many maternity shoots). The funny thing is that the link she sent was

actually to a a photographer that's a friend of mine. The 4th time was my uncle, which I can kind if let slide.

 

I'm usually a very confident photographer, but when this happens it makes me a little less so.

<p>I doubt they meant much from what you said. The ladies probably just wanted to make conversations. Either way, keep surveying others but believe in your photographs. If anyone, you yourself have to believe in your photographs first... </p>

<p>It's never happened to me using the "give you some ideas" wording, but if it did, I probably would respond with something like, "Neat... What did you like about it? ..." and try to draw them into conversation, especially if they are former or potential clients, or at least were familiar with my work. If, from their response, they seem to be half-way articulate about their photographic likes and dislikes, I'd probably check out the site they recommended.</p>

<p>The way I figure it, I regularly "look at" photo.net to "get ideas", anyway, so why not see what impressed them.</p>

<p>Tom M</p>

<p>Hi! If they have already commented your work and recognised its specific qualities and then suggest that there may be other approaches (their friend) that is good and probably worth looking into. However, if they have said nothing about your work I would simply thank them and maybe say that you are also studying the work of some well-known photographer. I get a bit tired of others who make no effort to comment my work, or just say that it is a great photograph and ask what type of equipment I use. Sort of like asking a writer what sort of word processor he uses. Sometimes we have to grin and bear it, as your acquaintance might be well meaning. I wouldn’t take the suggestion as negative, even though sometimes such suggestions are disingenuous, especially if they haven't taken the time to look at your work. </p>

<p>Personally, whenever someone says "oh so and so does photography also, you should see her work", I ask what type photography and then go and take a look. I don't take the comment offensively or feel the speaker is suggesting my work somehow fails to measure up to the same standard. Last year a family member suggested I look at someone's online gallery "to get ideas" and when I did, I really liked what I saw. I left a message on the site and this, eventually, led to my first gallery show. I think when people say these type things we have a choice: we can look for the insult in the message; take the comment as neutral or we can take a chance and go look at the other person's work, if not to get ideas, at least to see how others are approaching their craft. </p>

<blockquote>

<p>I'm usually a very confident photographer, but when this happens it makes me a little less so.</p>

</blockquote>

<p>This is a key to being open and a very significant reaction. When something someone says "gets under your skin" there's a reason for it. I'd honor that and not run away from it. It's a genuine feeling you're having and "lack of confidence" can be a very good thing . . . at times and in managed doses. You have doubts about yourself. OK. What are those doubts? Just how does it undermine your confidence? Really look at it. And then do something about it. We all have weaknesses. A simple comment like your friends can hit a weak spot. Never mind your friend, now. Get specific with yourself. What's a weakness you can work on? What's an "idea" or "style" or something photographic you want to explore that you haven't or you feel you can delve into more? It's much more about your reaction than it is about your friend. </p>

Thanks, everyone. Your responses have been helpful. My knee-jerk reaction when this has happened has been to

think, "What? You think I don't have ideas?". But reading your posts is helping me to see I am overreacting in a big

way! Thanks!

<p>Heather, just be glad those friends/acquaintances/colleagues didn't end the conversation by handing you a..."Do you know Jesus?" pamphlet from their obscurely titled religious organization.</p>

<p>Unless they're paying you, no one can determine the quality and value of your work. You know it or you don't.</p>

<p>Be thankfull they don't tell you that you must have a great camera.</p>

<p>I've noticed the same thing. I never take it personally. After all, the person suggesting I look at someone else's work has almost never seen my own work! I started a thread some time ago on the very same subject and heard back that many others get this response.</p>

<p>I suppose I look at it mostly as an interesting behavioral phenomenon, being a behavioral scientist. Others suggested that people doing this are trying to connect to me by showing me they share a mutual interest in photography, even if it's not they aren't actually the ones doing the work. Still others suggested this is a step short of commenting, "Oh, you're a photographer?! I'd love to see some of your work." This might commit them to watching a slide show of somebody else's wedding and having to offer up generous, socially acceptable compliments on potentially deplorable work. I can understand that. I usually pass along my business card, and I often get an email back about how much they enjoyed viewing my work on my website.</p>

<p>When my G/F started sending me links to photos I "had to look at" it initially irritated me but I quickly realised that making the effort to look at different peoples styles etc could be really interesting.... even if just as a way to practice your ability to analyse images.</p>

<p>However the thing that really bugged me was when we are out somewhere and she walked ahead of me, while I am stopped taking pictures. Then as I caught up she would tell me what I must get a photo of. For me this is bad because I am working to improve my eye for a photo and to work out what I am interested in. I find having someone else tell me their opinion before I shoot (afterwards is fine) rather distracting. </p>

<p>I don't think your reaction is particuarly 'knee jerk' or paranoid Heather. I think its quite normal to be sensitive about creative work. People, in reality, do have varying reactions to it, sometimes admiring, sometimes they might want to subtly diminish it. Its impossible really to get to the bottom of these kind of interactions between people, if there is a put down its probably unconcious on their part anyway. Who knows what they meant, none of it really matters.</p>

<p>I am not referred to other photographers, I am offered potential models or told what jobs <em>models</em> they know are shooting.</p>

<p>I have a standard response: 95% of the people out there do not even approach the threshold of being competitive but I am always willing to have a look. You never know. I found a guy once looking through a Taco Bell drive through window in Joshua Tree, Ca. </p>

<p>Heather: I know the feeling. It's about ego and pride. Why can't they just acknowledge <em>my</em> photographs? Remember when you were a kid and your mother said something like, "Why can't you be like Jim (or Sarah). Just look how nice their penmanship is." You want to strangle someone! Alan</p>

<blockquote>

<p>95% of the people out there do not even approach the threshold of being competitive</p>

</blockquote>

<p><br /><br>

This wasn't a question about a competition. The poster is not a commercial photographer. Paying attention to the question actually helps give useful responses.</p>

<p><< I'm sure these people mean well ... but I'm curious to know if others out there have experienced the same thing... Anyone? How do you handle it?>><br /> <br /> If they meant well, then it won't bother me. I'd probably say something like "Oh really! I'll check it out!".<br /> <br /> I am always curious about other people's ideas, whether I like them or not, whether they are the type of photography for me or not. Being my camera club's Mentoring Chair, I always seek for new ideas on how to help, how to be better myself. People also seek me out for ideas.</p>

<p>Who knows, my ideas or style may change and evolve - and it has.</p>

<p>Having been an advertising photographer for years I only shot photographs of someone else's ideas. To much ego is a bad thing.</p>

<blockquote>

<p>Did you actually read my response Jeff?</p>

<p>Whether the the poster is a commercial photographer or not was never under discussion. I shared that although I do not experience being referred to other photographers' work I am routinely offered potential models who are invariably <em>not competitive</em>. Clearer now ?</p>

<p>Leaves me feeling much like the OP, initially being dissed that the subjects I have are not enough then realizing they're just trying to be helpful to their friends.</p>

</blockquote>

<p>I agree with the comments. Don't take offense. It could be that for this person, this is shared ground where they feel they can talk "your" language. Their sharing could just be a way of wanting to connect with you on a mutual subject.<br>

Or, it could be they are trying to communicate to you what they like and don't know how to do it otherwise. It's hard for us to realize, but it's not easy for people who have no experience or training in visual arts to know how to express their visual desires. When I worked as a graphic designer, I sometimes had clients send me things they wanted me to "copy". What I tried to do was dig deeper. What was it about that visual piece they were relating to? They aren't usually aware what it is and it may take some gentle coaxing. I usually found I could get to the crux of what they liked about that piece and used that to create something that was unique, but satisfied what they wanted to express.<br>

If it turns out that this client really wants a heavily enhanced photograph in a style you don't care for, gracefully suggest another photographer. In the end, good press is about keeping people happy. If your client would be happier with a different style, it's better for both of you.</p>

<blockquote>

<p>"my friend does photography too. Check out her website, it might give you some ideas"!</p>

</blockquote>

<blockquote>

<p>How do you handle it? Laugh it off? Make some sarcastic remark about how you don't tell them how to do their jobs, so quit suggesting how you do yours? :).</p>

</blockquote>

<p>You say to her..."I'll check it out to see how good an eye you have and I'll get back to you. Always wondered what it would feel like to copy other people's work just to see if I can pull it off".</p>

<p>ZING!</p>