Girlfriend (or wife) vs. Photography

<p>Greetings all!<br>

I am looking for a bit of advice when it comes to photography and the opinions of your significant other. A large amount of my photography is of women, I love to capture the beauty of the opposite sex. I have explained this to my girlfriend and she still isn't the biggest fan of it, I was curious how many of you more experienced photographers have gone about this in your careers/lives? How do I show her my views or perspectives on this?<br>

Any advice would be helpful. Thanks!<br>

Robert</p>

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<p>I love to capture the beauty of the opposite sex.</p>

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<p>There's your problem. Show her other beauties in nature like squirrels, deer, etc. aaand...YOUR GIRLFRIEND to throw her off the track.</p>

<p>Well - as you've clearly stated - you're interested in "the beauty of the opposite sex" NOT photography, so its hardly surprising you got the response you did. Perhaps if you wax lyrical about f-stops, hyperfocal distance and bokeh you might receive a more appropriate response (ie boredom).</p>

<p>hahaha ok Maybe I worded it wrong, I like how I can capture that beauty through photography, and that every shoot is a learning experience. I also do have photos of other things, she just focuses on the other women. And I have been begging to take pictures of her, she just doesn't want to get any taken...</p>

<p>I guess it's up to you to decide whether your girlfriend is more important to you than taking pictures of women. Pick one. Live with it.</p>

<p> </p>

<p>I know a couple of photographers that like to capture female beauty on film.<br>

If you're really passionate about it, then you're simply in the unfortunate position of having to put up with the inevitable, and (sometimes) understandable insecurities that are going to occur.<br>

Or find a more secure g/f.</p>

<p>I have a friend who had the same problem you do. He did a better job picking his second wife.</p>

<p>Keep your girlfriend/fiance/wife (in the future) busy carrying your gear, holding reflectors, rigging lights and vacuuming the studio. Teach her how to Photoshop away skin imperfections/issues too.</p>

<p>She'll then feel she's really part of the process as you start hanging 40"x60" nudes on the lving room wall.</p>

<p>Don't be pushed around; I lost a similar spousal argument about getting a goat instead of mowing the yard.</p>

<p>:o(</p>

<p>Jim M.<br>

(Yes, I am kidding.)</p>

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<p>How do I show her my views or perspectives on this?</p>

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<p>She has already seen your views and perspectives. They are all female.</p>

<p>Robert, maybe it'd be fruitful if you were to take some photos of your girlfriend and complement her beauty at the same time. This way she might not feel that she's consistently in competition with wither beauties. </p>

<p>Yea, as I said before I have wanted to do that, but she isn't a big fan of getting pictures taken... I'm working that angle too.</p>

<p>Love the goat idea Jim!</p>

<p>aah...to be 20 something again and have those kind of girl problems.</p>

<p>I know back then I had to toss or hide all of my photos of former "hotty" girlfriends from my then current girlfriend. All two of them.</p>

<p>How the heck did you find and convince Megan, Lauren, Terra, Tiffany, Alanna, Abby and Kelsey to pose for you? You have quite a collection in your PN gallery.</p>

<p>You say it's a learning experience shooting all these suspiciously beautiful ladies. I'm guessing you haven't learned to capture the beauty in plain/ugly looking ladies? Can you tell us what you've learned? Maybe this could be your approach in explaining this to your girlfriend.</p>

<p>Are you learning this forum might not be the best place to get advice on this subject? This looks to be a matter of the heart and god only knows what that is.</p>

<p>It's kinda' like "If you have to ask, maybe that's the problem".</p>

<p>Buy her a camera and encourage her tacke pictures of hansome men. If you two can get along after that, then your issue is solved.</p>

<p>Fantastic idea Harry! I will see what I can do.</p>

<p>@Tim, a lot of what I learn is from the pictures I don't keep. Just little things about lighting, composition, paying attention to hair, clothes, earrings, etc. Just a lot of the little stuff that can distract in a picture. Many of those girls, aside from Terra and Lauren, are from my hometown, a small place where everybody knows everybody so they are friends of family or other friends.</p>

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<p><em>"You say it's a learning experience shooting all these suspiciously beautiful ladies. I'm guessing you haven't learned to capture the beauty in plain/ugly looking ladies? Can you tell us what you've learned? Maybe this could be your approach in explaining this to your girlfriend."</em></p>

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<p>Tim, there's really nothing morally or ethically wrong with wanting to shoot beautiful people, and surely it's as respectable a photography goal as any other.</p>

<p>Speaking in general terms: I don't shoot cars, but if I did, there would be infinitely more possibilities with a brand new Jaguar than a 6 year old Chevy Malibu. I would learn much more too (because of my enthusiasm). I suspect most photographers feel similarly or we would be seeing more photos of Malibus. </p>

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<p >@Tim, a lot of what I learn is from the pictures I don't keep. Just little things about lighting, composition, paying attention to hair, clothes, earrings, etc. Just a lot of the little stuff that can distract in a picture. Many of those girls, aside from Terra and Lauren, are from my hometown, a small place where everybody knows everybody so they are friends of family or other friends.</p>

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<p>Then that's what you tell her, Robert.</p>

<p>And if that as well as the other good advice given here doesn't work, then you're just going to have to put up with your girlfriend's feelings on the subject.</p>

<p>Michael, I never said it was a moral issue. It's a perception issue with a bit of tongue in cheek thrown in to lighten it up a bit.</p>

<p>It's to get Robert to really check himself with regard to his motives to get him to ask questions of himself and his girlfriend's. Something's buggin' his girlfriend about him shooting women, all of them quite beautiful, while he's going to school majoring in criminology, not photography. At least that's what it says in his PN bio.</p>

<p>He seems to have a lot of time and energy on his hands finding all these women, photographing them, going to classes and developing a relationship with his girlfriend. I don't know where he gets the energy. I have to take a nap just managing and picturing the logistics in my head, but I'm 51 and I'm not getting up.</p>

<p>Motives, motives, motives. Doin' a quick check. That's all.</p>

<p>I do appreciate that Tim. And yea it is rough, I am still going for Criminology to be a federal agent, but photography came while I was in the military. For me finding people to shoot is not an issue, its the whole time thing... not enough of it in a day...</p>

<p>In a relationship, isn't it important to choose which things are worth fighting about? If you love this woman, and it upsets her that you photograph women, maybe it's worth choosing other subject matter. If it's more important for you to be free to photograph other women, maybe you should let her off the hook and be single.</p>

<p>Life is long. Find another woman who is more supportive and accepting.</p>

<p>Get a girlfriend who has some exhibitionist tendencies.. </p>

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<p>Tim - I know back then I had to toss or hide all of my photos of former "hotty" girlfriends from my then current girlfriend. All two of them.</p>

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<p>Two pictures, two hotty former girlfriends, or two current girlfriends?</p>

<p>I would be suspicious of a girlfriend/fiance/wife<br>

who was easily willing to "share her beauty" with your camera.<br>

that could mean she is willing to share other things.<br>

My Brother-in law sold his camera after a young lady who let him capture her beauty<br>

on camera showed it to her live-in boyfriend.<br>

the young woman called the police who intercepted my brother-in-law before he was ambushed.<br>

With a shotgun. My sister-in law was never a model and<br>

just shook her head at his foolishness.<br>

some of his models were very long on skin and very short on beauty.</p>

<p>he is now too old to do anything but still has that attitude.<br>

His family just roll their eyes. <br>

otherwise a nice guy, just that one quirk.</p>

<p>If you're making any money from your photo shoots of women, that may partially mitigate circumstances with your GF. Many women are very jealous of their men photographing other women...sort of a competitive thing in which they see their own flaws and none in the other women. Maybe she hates cameras, in which case you're really up the creek. As suggested above, why not try to get her involved in your work.</p>

<p>I'm lucky. My wife actually helps out. She treats "dressing the models" like dressing really big dolls. ;)</p>