Dealing with a Bridezilla?

<p>For people who have been there, and done that. What is the best way to deal with a Bridezilla? <br>

We've been on a roller coaster ride with a bride who found fault in everything on her wedding day, flowers, venue, caterer, DJ... and of course in her photos after. One minute she hates everything, the next she's loves everything.<br>

I never thought one person could make you feel like your in the wrong business, but I don't think I could handle having a bride like this more than once a year (if ever again). <br>

So any stories out there? And how did you learn to work with the impossible to please? Do you ever just have to throw in the towel and call it a lost cause?<br>

<br /> Thank you!</p>

<p>With kid gloves...but that is obvious. I'd say that specific handling depends on what the issue is. If you are just talking about 'in general', I don't do anything special for a picky or complaining bride. I am just as polite and accommodating as I am to every bride I photograph, and to every client of mine.</p>

<p>I haven't had any personally, but I have observed a local studio's difficult brides, and sometimes one does have to throw in the towel, but again, it depends on the situation. A big part of determining how to proceed is determining the bride's motive in being difficult. Sometimes it is just 'how she is', sometimes it is because she wants financial concessions. I may decide on a course of action for the former that is very different from the course of action I choose for the latter.</p>

<p><strong><em>"Do you ever just have to throw in the towel and call it a lost cause?"</em></strong><br>

<br>

Yes. <br>

<br>

The trick is to get the people barometer radar working before hand and <strong ><em >not accept the gig in the first place</em></strong> – That comes with experience and learning / honing people skills and reading personalities and thinking through the potential situations - and also few grazed knees along the way.<br>

<br>

I did a Transactional Analysis and Body Language Course when I was about 28 – best thing I ever did to assist these situations – it was intense and for one week – run by the Psychology Department of a major University. I recommend similar for anyone in a business which deals with people face to face in emotionally charged situations. <br>

<br>

WW</p>

<p>I've got a pretty good guess which bride this is :-)</p>

<p>WW, different "strokes" for different folks.......welcome to the OK corral :-)</p>

<p>:)</p>

<p>They seemed like such a fun loving couple with the engagement session and then its like aliens replaced them! We will have to look into a course like that. Live and learn.</p>

<p><em>"barometer radar working before hand and not accept the gig in the first place"</em><br>

The personality hiring you may not be the same personality accepting the photos after the wedding. For some people, they seem more stressed before the wedding, and a few others are way more stressed after the wedding. Had it happen to me, hope it never does again.<br>

Kindly ask what the list of dislikes are, see if you can fix them to some level, maybe offer them something a little extra, such as an extra enlargement or 2 or such, and cut your losses. Avoid refunding money, if at all possible. Though the customer isn't always right, your customer service should be such that it makes your customer feel that their concerns are being heard and addressed. <br>

Above all, don't take it personal.</p>

<p><em><strong>"The personality hiring you may not be the same personality accepting the photos after the wedding."</strong></em></p>

<p>Agreed.</p>

<p>WW</p>

<p>Sometimes, a meeting to discuss before booking is vital. Talking a bit can give you a basic idea, and if you don't think it'll work out... leaf through your calendar/diary, and just say you're not available. :)</p>

<p><em>They seemed like such a fun loving couple with the engagement session and then its like aliens replaced them!</em><br>

<em></em><br>

First it was a lone Bridezilla, now its more than one person. Different dynamic and approaches involved. Which version is it? Lone bride or team effort?</p>

<blockquote>

<p>One minute she hates everything, the next she's loves everything.</p>

</blockquote>

<p>If she gives vague comments about what she doesn't like in the pictures, wait a few days doing nothing and give her the same pictures back. She proably won't notice! :o)<br>

Seriously, maybe they need time to calm down and reflect on it all. So perhaps you can stall. Sort of 'I'd love to discuss this with you to understand what your concerns are. I'm out of town for 2 weeks so how about....' </p>

<p>The main thing is keep your calm - if you respond in an agitated way at the wrong moment then opinions will quickly become entrenched and immovable (yours as well as hers). After that it sounds as though you need to decide if you want to play contractual hard-ball or give some compromise. Playing hard-ball is high-risk because you had better be on rock-solid ground with your claims. If aiming to compromise work out what things you are willing to give ground on - ask her for all the things she is unhappy with so it is more difficult for her to bring in new things later on if her motive is to get a 'better deal'. At all stages feed back to her what she says so there is no misunderstanding and discuss with her what each would involve. All the while, guesstimate what are the changes that you can do for relatively little cost of time or money and gradually give way over those, while maintaining a firm stand on the most difficult - that way it becomes a simple bargaining game of give-and-take and you can make it business-like instead of personal. As William says this is where understanding of bargaining and human behaviour works - there are heaps of business books on these topics that would help.</p>

 

<p>Yep, been there, done that, I took the photos to another photographer & asked them to critique my photos, they said they were fine. I passed this info to the bride, she grumbed, & I never heard from her again,,</p>

<p>I have a clause in my contract that states how we would theoretically deal with it if the client was dissatisfied with my work quality.</p>

<p>We get a local arbiter to decide if the work is what was expected and that decision is final. That arbiter can be someone mutually agreed upon only, so its a fair deal for us both.</p>

<p>I say theoretically as I have never had this happen yet. Lucky me :-) ?? or perhaps its because I try to get a good idea of what they expect before hand and make sure they are a good fit for us. I have passed on several opportunities over the years, simply due to the poor fit I felt it to be.</p>

<p>Hind sight is of course, 2020.</p>

<p>I agree with William W.</p>

<p>Also, have a strong contract. Brides are emotional, contracts are not.<br>

best,<br>

jack hudkins</p>

<p>BTW: There are no Bridezillas, only vendors who fail to understand their clients expectations and manage them well.</p>

<p>OH there are definitely Bridezillas, without a doubt.<br>

Quote : "It's my F'n day and I'll do whatever the F I want to do".....unquote.</p>

<p>I have to agree with Geo. I've seen them with my own eyes! oy!</p>

<p>jack hudkins</p>

<p>Sometimes you can be fooled but I'd say that most of the time you can "see" it coming during the initial interview or during following emails or phone calls to set up the engagement photo session. The first sign I look for is a statement like "the other vendors are ..." ... when I hear resistant or comparative statements that are trying to talk me into working in a different manner than I normally work I just tell them that I don't work in that manner and I wish them well.</p>

<p>If it was not really apparent in an obvious way try to look back and assess what "signs" you could see and look most at what was really there to give you a warning and make the assessment more focused on what You missed. </p>

<p>Focus your thoughts on why You Avoided the signs that were evident and why You Avoided the signs that were available. There were signs but why did you miss them and what were those signs so that you don't miss them in the future. </p>

<p>It's been more than a couple of times that I refused a bride and there are two times that I've returned the Deposit telling the bride that I was unable to do their wedding because I don't do the kind of work they want done and then I just shut up. I keep repeating it; keep it simple and return the money. I'm not saying it's the right way but it's the way that works for me.</p>

<p>I'd say that most of the times <strong>it's Greed</strong> , on our part, that gets into these situations and holds us there to the end results. Check out your part in the process and the <strong>signs You Missed</strong> and you'll be more successful in avoiding them again in the future ... imo.</p>

<p>I say the above because, imo, there always seem to be Signs and we avoid taking action because we're focused on "the money" instead of the human interaction. If you merely want the money, regardless of the signs available, then just be quiet and do the "job" and get onto your next "job". If you don't see the signs then I'd say that it's possible that you don't interview deeply enough or communicate enough with your brides. Is that possible? My point is that I'd be looking more at what <strong>You Missed</strong> and less about how to handle the Bridezilla once they rise up and start biting people.</p>

<p>Farceur,<br>

I'm curious about your post. Are there times when a personal meeting is NOT necessary? Do you actually book a wedding without a face-to-face meeting?</p>