10 Commandments of Leica Photography

These laws seem to have been forgotten by the zealots within the

flock, who flaunt their sins in endless W/NW posts:

<P><B><U>The PLUG's 10 Commandments of Leica Photography</B></U>

<P>Moses came back from a PLUG meeting carrying two stone tablets. We

reproduce them here:

<P>1) Thy children are ugly. Do not make us look upon them.

<P>2) Thou shalt not have a photograph entitled "Pop-Pop" in your

Leica portfolio.

<BR><I>We know Scooter loves his grandfather, we'd just rather not

have to look at it.</I>

<P>3) Thou shalt not photograph thy dog ,nor thy cat, nor thy ass.

<BR><I>(Some dispensation may be got for photographing thy neighbor's

ass, we'd have to see it first though.)</I>

<P>4) Photographing in exotic locals does not makeith thou a great

photographer.

<BR><I>It makith thou a tourist.</I>

<P>5) Thou shalt not photograph buildings.

<P>6) Thou shalt not photograph statues.

<BR><I>Who do you think you are? Robert Maplethorp?</I>

<P>7) Thou shalt not photograph homeless people.

<BR><I>Leave them alone or buy them food. This pleasith the Lord.</I>

<P>8) Thou shalt not photograph people from behind and call it street

photography.

<BR><I>This makith thou a coward.</I>

<P>9) Thou shalt not own stupid Leica gadgets.

<BR><I>This includes a "leica tabletop tripod", a "visioflex",

a "NOOKY", a "SOOMP" or anything else that makes your Leica work with

all the speed and ease of a 4x5.</I>

<P>10) Thou shalt not brag about the sharpness of thy lens, nor the

number of Summicron's thou hast acquired, nor the freshness of thy

rear-cap, nor the dinglessness of thy bottom plate.

<P>Now go in peace & may the lux be with you.

<P>http://www.asc.upenn.edu/usr/cassidy/leicaslacker/plug/10/index.htm

l

All commandments are made to be broken...well most of them anyway.

 

Now let's talk about your neighbor's wife ;>]

Beyond the 10 Commandments there are the lesser known Suggestions including -- Thou shalt figure your scanner out before posting pictures from it.

Great post Vic, thank you for sharing.

Vic: thou shalt not try to impose any commandments on slackers, non-owners of

Leica equipment, embracers of chaos, proponents of anarchy, and all other denizens

of the so-called Leica Photography Forum. If it wasn't (usually) so interesting, I

wouldn't hang out here so often.

But - - If you photograph #4 and #5 for your own collection of memories, thou shalt be forgiven!

Vic, You are my hero!

have a twofer<div></div>

The eleventh commandment:

 

11) Thou shalt honor bottom-loading as, verily, the pure must rise from the depths to the heights.

If thou wouldst employ archaic and idiomatic language then thou shouldst learn the proper grammar, syntax, and spelling so that thee wouldst be better understoodst by thy contemporaries.

Commandment 12 of 10 :-)

 

Confronted with a choice between operating the focus ring or the shutter release,

thou shalt choose the focus ring.

ahem! "so that _thou_ shallt be better understood...".

 

Is it the Quakers who used to use "thee" for both thee and thou? Some vague memory of Bertie Russell here.

 

Talking of which, I have an English language textbook used in Italian schools until only twenty years ago which insists on the use of thee and thou.

And God said to Noah...

 

Build thee an Ark of Cedar wood and make it four cubits long. And take aboard it two of every type of film camera for the evil of digital has swept over the world and I shall send a great flood to fuse the circuits of all those computers with lenses....

 

....and on the fortieth day Noah sent out a dove and it came back with a Kodak mailer in its mouth and Noah knew that verily had the lord swept away the evil of digitalisation (but had left behind the Fuji Frontiers because they were a Good Thing).

And the day that I pay any attention to the CRAP posted by a group whose members describe themselves as:

 

"Arrogent, Mostly Talentless Gen-X Leica Slacker"

 

Is the day that I logged on one time to many.

 

And from the PLUG website,

 

=================================================================

 

"A stern looking bunch of idiots, if you ask me."

--Henri Cartier-Bresson

 

"Yeah, I remember them. They wanted to fight me in a bar and I said 'Okay you jerks, I'll take you all at once.' At which point they turned and ran away."

-- David LaChappelle

 

"Lenscappers, to a man. Not one of those dopes could take a photo of his thumb."

-- Cindy Sherman

 

Welcome to the PLUG where we mostly sit around and wear our Tilly hats and drink single malt scotch.

 

Membership Requirements:

To join the PLUG you just have to like taking pictures. We'll settle for people who like cameras, but it's not as cool. You don't have to own a Leica, or even really have a desire to get one. What we don't want are people who only take pictures of tree-bark or newspapers at fifty paces then spend all day peering at them with a Schneider loupe going "ooh! ooh! so sharp!" For that, you'll want the PLTG, the Philadelphia Lens Testers Group. We're photographers here. Oh yeah, you don't have to live in Philadelphia either.

 

 

====================================================================

 

 

Grow up and get a life, and stop annoying the rest of us with this CRAP (Camera Remarks and Photography).

Brian: Strong words considering that you organize your photos by

the lens used.<P>

nth commandment: People who live in glass houses.....

Harvey:

 

LOL; good one...

 

Dennis

>Brian: Strong words considering that you organize your photos by the lens used.

 

>nth commandment: People who live in glass houses

 

 

I am certainly not a "misunderstood artist" and would not impose on others to tell them what to take pictures of. But I am quite happy to provide pictures taken with various equipment if they are interested in observing how various classic equipment performs. As for the pictures that I take, obviously "commandment 1" is my favorite to break. I have seen these "rules of what we think other people should not take pictures of" used to insult people on this forum.

 

If the source of these "rules" consider themselves "arrogent, Mostly Talentless" what does it say of the people who follow their lead?

Forunately I dont believe in organized religion so I will take photos how I want!

 

I have often pondered though that if the USA banned tele avangelists there would be less US resentment in the world. And while your at it "Everybody loves Raymond" cause everybody doesnt!

 

BTW covert thy neighbours ass? Do they all own donkeys there in the US and you eye them up? Weird!

Brian: Chill. Get a life. This entire post is meant as an amusing joke. Nothing more.

As a Gen-X:er myself, if there is such a thing, I consider that whole site pretty fun. Witty writing, which incidently have been posted here a couple of times before.

At least for me, this forum is intended as AMUSEMENT. That means it has to be amusing and entertaining, at least for me that is. The wonderful wealth of photographic information that the forum sometimes provides is merely, as we say in Louisiana, "lagniape". Just a little extra bonus. Don't take the other cutting up too seriously.

 

Regards,

 

Dennis

>Brian Sweeney , jan 07, 2004; 10:25 a.m.

 

>If the source of these "rules" consider themselves "arrogent, Mostly Talentless" what does it say of the people who follow their lead?

 

Wow, are some people so inept that they take the Leicaslacker page seriously? Even the guy that designed the page didn't... get a life.

It seems to me that Brian doesn't need any help in the "life" department.

 

Steve

Geez Brian, lighten up. The whole "Gen-X Leicaslacker" thing is a self-deprecating concept that Kyle Cassidy came up with. He IS a talented photographer, and a better writer. Plus, his humor gland seems to be intact. You might wish to check yours.

Hey you all, I have nothing to do with the PLUG. I don't even live there. I happened to see this amusing list and thought it might amuse others. (All errors and ommissions should be referred to the author, whose website is listed in the initial post above.) Thanks.