Wedding Nightmare

Ok here goes.

As a hobbyist photographer I decided to delve into the world of wedding photography. I have done many portraits and family shoots that have all been received well. The person who asked me to do the wedding like my work and thought I would be suitable for their daughters wedding. I agreed to do this but advised them I am a beginner and that my price would be low due to my lack of experience. We agreed a price of £350 and no contract was issued.

On the day I arrived at 7am to take candids of the bride getting ready and shots of dress/shoes etc. I arrived at church early to capture groom waiting for his bride. I captured what I could of the service even though the vicar refused shots being taken in the church during the ceremony and I had to take them from outside the hall. I then captured as many group shots outside as possible in the worst of wind and rain.

I accompanied them to the reception dinner and celebrations throughout the night taking as many shots as I could. I finally left at 11pm.

I have never worked so hard in my life and getting home to bed was bliss.

My package to the bride includes over 350 digital photos all edited and then some extra duplicates of black and white/ sepia and photoshopped pictures. These will be presented in a bride and groom memory stick boxset and gift wrapped. A large diamante frame with 5 prints inside. 2 a4 frames with prints inside. A musical slideshow of photos set to their choice of music. A a3 photo album with in excess of 50 photos of the day and a 2019 calendar highlighting their day. I spent nearly £200 on this thus taking £150 for myself for my time.

My nightmare is I hate the images I have taken and know as I worked alone I missed some big moments. I feel like I should apologise when I hand them over and even offer them a full refund.

I take my hat off to seasoned wedding photographers and agree you do get what you pay for. Do not scrimp on your big day for a budget photographer when those pics will be with you for the rest of your life.

Any advice on where I go from here is much appreciated but please no hate, I genuinely tried my best but obviously that just was not good enough. I will step away from weddings and stick to my comfort zone of portraiture from now on.

Sounds like you’re being honest and learned something valuable. At this point, you can’t turn the clock back and the wedding couple will have the photos you took. I’d wait to see their reaction. They may like them more than you do. If they do, I would not burst their bubble by telling them you think the photos aren’t good. I’d graciously accept payment if only to make sure not to ruin their happiness at the photos they’re getting. If you feel badly about taking the money, donate it to your favorite charity. If they seem not to like the photos and seem disappointed, offer to refund their money, explain what you’ve explained to us, apologize and move on. You’re showing self awareness on your own and that’s a good thing. Your job, as I see it right now, is to help the couple feel as good as possible, whether that means collecting the fee if they seem ok with the photos or not collecting the fee if they seem not to like them.

Thank you for your reply. Yes I agree I have to just go with the flow for now and pray they like them more than I. I guess my post is to highlight that wedding photography is not to be taken lightly and only those at the top of their game should approach and then with caution.

Probably writing and publishing your OP was a cathartic experience for you; I trust it assists.

Moving forward, I agree with gary’s main advice; wait and see the reaction from the B&G.

Typically, both the Photographer and the B&G have Emotional Capital invested in the Wedding Photos – The B&G is a personal involvement of ‘our Wedding’, the Photographer is ‘my work’: these emotions are seen and interpreted differently: some of my less technically correct and less artistically tempered photos have been adored by the B&G, simply because of that different perspective.

WW

I agree with William Michael in that you don’t know what the bride and groom will think but it is very true that some people will really like photos you yourself thought were boring or whatever. Don’t worry about it, you went above and beyond and they paid very little for your services.

More importantly, as someone who shoots 30 weddings a year, I can attest that wedding photography is one of the most harrowing and pressurized situations for a photographer to be cast into. I still feel the stress even after years of experience, and I shoot with a second shooter too 90% of the time. Solo shooting a wedding, like you did for your first one?!?! Wow, I don’t blame you for not wanting to shoot weddings again!!

I’m sure you got some nice shots that the B&G will love. It’s been my experience that many couples only frame a couple of wedding photos, the rest go into albums that might be looked at once a year if that.

Well, my perennial advice here is: "Don't practice on paying customers. If you don't know what you are doing, do it for free for the experience"

Take that as you wish, but you got lots of valuable experience. Maybe a good compromise would to refund all but your hard costs, so you aren't out of pocket.

I believe that I have always have agreed with Charles' comment: "Don't practice on paying customers. If you don't know what you are doing, do it for free for the experience",

And if your remain in a mind to refund, I think the idea of refunding your hard costs is a very good idea.

However, I am of the strong view that you need to keep a still tongue and wait until the B&G receive the package and review it.

This is not about "getting out free" or "getting off lightly" - but rather, if you want to learn more from this experience, you need to get an unbiased reaction to your work from the B&G, without any taint of your dissatisfaction.

WW

Just to underline William's point: being a total amateur, I also shot several weddings (solo), as a gift for some friends. The resulting photos were not great, and looking back now sometimes I also feel pretty bad for not having been more aware of my limits. Yet, I never heard a complaint either - the photos show the most important loved ones, moments of a memorable day, and offer a set of memories of a day they did enjoy. Which seems to have fitted the expectation - most people just want to something to aid those sweet memories, they're not expecting art. William is very right that as photographers we have completely different expectations from a photo than the couple and their relatives.

Also: if I look at the photos of the last wedding compared to the first I did, some of the experiences trickled through. So, quitting immediately might be premature too. I think you should realise this was a first time, and not draw immediately conclusions.

It is hard work, and the real pros have my respect for keeping their cool in the pressure cooker. I've learnt a lot during those shoots, but most of all my shortcomings and that I lack certain human skills that are very much needed for the job. So not because the quality of the photos, but rather because difficulties in managing people (getting decent poses etc.), and because of not feeling at ease to go around at a party taking photos of people, I found this isn't a career option I should ever consider.

Experience can and will cover for a lot of mistakes you may have made this time. If you feel you basically have the right human qualities and the desire to do more event work, it may be worth sticking in there, but maybe as an unpaid second shooter for some time.

I was wise and Lucky enough to limit myself to ONE wedding.

And the resulting marriage has lasted 37 years.

No way I would want any part of another.

Much less taking pictures for the Bride.

Like walking into a Lion’s den with Pork Chop Drawers on.

Anyone who has ever even tried to hang a picture for a woman knows better.

Most people think better than this in 2018

Most people have a sense of humor, even in 2018.

You said

"come on, let's go"

Just when you ought to've said nix"

I've always thought that photography had a change to hang on in a couple of areas that really cry out for professionalism and experience:

• Product photography (but maybe mostly CGI nowadays)
  
• Wedding Photography
  

Excellent attitude.

As for practicing on paying customers, doctors, dentists, and lawyers do it all the time.

I would like to thank you all for your comments and in your tact at not being too vicious with me. I have decided to hold fire for now and see what happens after B&G get their images. If they are unhappy I will of course offer everything I can to repay although obviously the day cannot be redone. I love photography and perhaps quitting completely would be a tad premature but I do however now realise my limitations and if I do ever approach another wedding it will be with many hours as a second shooter under my belt and even then possibly for free to build my portfolio. I agree it is immoral to practice on paying customers but in my defence I did not see it as practicing I honestly thought I could handle it and that all wedding photographers had to start at wedding number one. How wrong I was.

I was a second shooter for two full years (about 40 weddings) before I had the confidence and experience to become a wedding first shooter, or main photographer. Before I was even a second shooter, I was shooting photo journalism for the local newspaper and I also shot youth team sports portraits and team portraits. I was amateur for 8 years before I was hired by a studio to second shoot. I made $20/hrs to start. Indeed, I had knowledge of exposure, shooting in manual, and a decent command of my speedlight, but when I look back now, I was getting paid to "practice" on paying clients. There were certain expectations of course, I had to get a critical number of professional looking images, but was every frame I shot great? No freakin' way!! Many times, if you're exposure is close, a lot of shots can be worked on in Photoshop but the deal with wedding photography is you have to get it right in the camera. And that takes experience. And real experience comes from just doing it.

Amateurs who want to go into wedding photography have to start somewhere......there's very, very little real life shooting practice that can emulate the hectic pace and drastic lighting changes of wedding photography, so many photographers daring to go into wedding photography have to experience the brutal learning curve of real time wedding photography. Furthermore, the learning never ends no matter how many weddings you shoot and I don't care who it is, mistakes and missed shots are going to happen. So, is that still getting paid to practice?

I have always been my own worst critic and still am. I think my shots stink and all I see when I review my shots from the day are all the mistakes and "shoulda, coulda, woulda's". However, the studio still books me 30 weddings a season (I work full-time office day job), so I let other people be the judge. I do recognize that many of my required shots look really beautiful but I also recognize that you're only as good as you're last shoot. There's so many obstacles that you come across in every wedding shoot and that's even harder to manage than getting great exposures. But at the end of the day, if brides and grooms were complaining, I would have heard it long ago. So, I just keep rolling and creating great images through the all chaos. Like I said, it's the most harrowing and pressurized shooting situation but I have to add that it's also an exhilarating feeling when you've created "hero" images for the bride and groom.

The bottom line is that you go out and you work your hardest for the Bride and Groom to get a critical mass of great shots that are on the studio shot list. It's also why there are two photographers at a wedding 95% of the time. We are human and humans are imperfect beings. Is every single shot you take going to be a "magazine" shot? No way. There's also the old adage, "You get what you pay for" and that goes for wedding photography too. The higher the rate b&g's pay, the higher the expectations, the lower the rate they pay, the lower the expectations should be. That's not to say that just because you got paid $300 bucks for 12hrs of work that you can muck it up and not give a you-know-what but you can't beat yourself up either or else you'll never work another wedding.

Excellent attitude.

As for practicing on paying customers, doctors, dentists, and lawyers do it all the time.

Doctors, dentists, and attorneys are regulated and must be licensed before they can ply their trade. Calling it "practice" is an entirely different use and meaning of the word. If photographers were so licensed, there'd be lots fewer fools calling themselves "professional" regardless of the definition of the word.

As a photographer, we tend to have a more critical eye than most.

The B&G may LOVE the pix.

So as has been said, hang tight and see how they react.

gud luk.

The main thing is that you learned something, and was honest in your self evaluation.

A "lessons learned" evaluation, is an important task that should be done after each event. That is how you improve, and not make the same mistakes.

In things like this, nothing beats OJT as a 2nd shooter or assistant.

You cannot get the sense of pressure to "get that shot" and to produce, and the time pressure you are under, from reading a book or watching a YouTube video.

At least you don't have to change cameras every 12 or 24 shots, to have your assistant reload.

Or have to think and plan on when to reload, so as to not be caught short at the end of the roll, with a multi-shot event.

This is also why I have refused to shoot my classmates weddings.

Way too much pressure. And NO experience shooting weddings.

And if I mess up, I lost a friend.

One thing that I did learn in many shoots, is the value of an assistant. If only to keep track of the shots that you have to get, and when that shot happens (the shoot script). Because once that point in time has past, you lost the shot. "Ooops, I forgot to get X shot."

Doctors, dentists, and attorneys are regulated and must be licensed before they can ply their trade. Calling it "practice" is an entirely different use and meaning of the word. If photographers were so licensed, there'd be lots fewer fools calling themselves "professional" regardless of the definition of the word.

Wow, humor is lost on some here.

I guess I’ll have to go back to posting a wink ideogram even in the obviously humorous posts every time I try to add a little levity.

But thanks for filling me in on the facts about licensed professionals and the use of the word “practice”.

;) ;) ;) ;) ;)

Wow, humor is lost on some here.

Another possibility is that the humor is bad.

Most people have a sense of humor, even in 2018.

I don’t think this was about having a sense of humor. But, in case it is, I’ll just say mine has evolved since I was 7 years old in the 50s. I no longer see many people and wouldn’t laugh at anyone in 2018 doing blackface, for example. And I don’t find it funny to stereotype women as not being able to make up their mind. I mean this stuff went out with bee-hive hairdos and ditzy Gidget sketches.

Wow, humor is lost on some here.

I guess I’ll have to go back to posting a wink ideogram even in the obviously humorous posts every time I try to add a little levity.

 

But thanks for filling me in on the facts about licensed professionals and the use of the word “practice”.

;) ;) ;) ;) ;)

Sorry, I missed the memo! :)

<Chas>

Wow, humor is lost on some here.

I guess I’ll have to go back to posting a wink ideogram even in the obviously humorous posts every time I try to add a little levity.

 

But thanks for filling me in on the facts about licensed professionals and the use of the word “practice”.

;) ;) ;) ;) ;)

Not to get down on you, but there are a couple of things here.

1 - Depending on how I feel, what I am thinking, or who is saying it, my brain may not recognize/get a very obvious joke. And it goes over my head.

Think of how Commander Data on StarTrek would react.

2 - For those of us in similar professions, that joke isn't funny. Even if we know it is a joke, we do not think it is funny. And I may guess that Charles might be in or was in one of those professions.

It’s all good.

That is an old joke I heard many times over many years.

“Ran into my old dentist the other day and asked him how he was doing.”

“Not so good, I’m still practicing”

A simple play on words.....

For others here grappling with the sterilization of language and humor.....

It is an old joke. FWIW - I understood [practice] was being used as a pun: it's not a matter of it being 'bad humour' or 'good humour', it is just that some people might not have initially understood the humorous intent of the pun.

Now that point has been is cleared up - there's little point in arguing about it.

WW