Awkward situation, friend suddenly changing into client

I am in an odd situation and would like to know what more experienced photographers would think of this. I am just starting out business-wise but have gotten a lot of positive attention for my photography volunteer work at a local charitable organization including their magazine and web publications, so a lot of people know me as a photographer, unpaid. A friend invited me to a big family catered party, and she invited me 6 weeks ago (it’s a surprise party). Then all of a sudden… with the party being 48 hours away… she emailed me and said she wanted to hire a photographer and offered to pay me to be the photographer. She offered me a fair fee but it just seemed very weird, after being invited as a guest and then this happening all of a sudden. I said no because I was supposed to be a guest and so relax and enjoy myself as a friend... which I won't if I am the photographer... but on the other hand, I could use the work and the income. What would anyone else have done in that kind of situation?

A friend offered me "a job" photographing a catered affair their family was having. Fair price etc. I accepted and all went well until they asked me to sit at the head table with them to eat. Awkward... very nice thought but awkward. I declined and that seems to have hurt the friendship more than when they paid me 25% less than promised.

 

Another friend was having a very small and very private wedding. I was invited if I'd bring my camera. I sent them a card and a very nice gift.

 

I learned my lesson about mixing friendship and business. It's just too hard if one really values the friendship. I need friends a lot more than I need a bit more money.

Edited April 28, 2017 by BrianS

Just be very clear to separate the personal from the business. Let them know that IF you are to be there in a professional capacity, you will need them to sign a contract outlining expectations (both yours and theirs) and that you will be interacting at the event as a professional and not as a guest.

I'd take the original invitation and refer the job to someone else. Failing that, not attend -- have a schedule conflict and follow Brian S suggestion. Hope it all works out!

You are either a guest or a photographer. You cannot be both.

As you said, as a guest you are there to enjoy yourself. As the photographer, you are there to do a job, not enjoy yourself.

I've been to places as both guest and photographer. Guess what, the photographer side usually takes over. I snatch at the meal as I walk about shooting.

I am in an odd situation and would like to know what more experienced photographers would think of this.

No. Your commentary indicates that you are not in any "odd situation".

 

You indicate that you have resolved the situation and now you are asking for comments on your course of action.

 

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I am just starting out business-wise . . . a lot of people know me as a photographer, unpaid.

 

A friend invited me to a big family catered party, and she invited me 6 weeks ago (it’s a surprise party).

 

Then all of a sudden… with the party being 48 hours away… she emailed me and said she wanted to hire a photographer and offered to pay me to be the photographer. . . . I said no because I was supposed to be a guest and so relax and enjoy myself as a friend... which I won't if I am the photographer... but on the other hand, I could use the work and the income. What would anyone else have done in that kind of situation?

 

I would have done what you did. My rationale would be simple: I shall follow through with my first commitment: which was to attend the party as a guest.

It would be easy to give an example to make the logic clear: if someone else had contacted you and asked you to shoot a different job (at the same time as this surprise party for your friend) you would have declined the job, because you had already given your word to attend your friend's party as a guest.

 

If you do commit to making a business as a photographer and you take on Photography jobs broadly defined as "Social Events" (for example Weddings Baptisms; Birthday Parties; New Year's Eve Parties; Corporate Functions, etc,) then you will come across this clash of Business Engagements Vs. Personal Engagements all the time.

 

It was not all that difficult for me, but some members of my friends and family group found it odd, (at first) that I would usually never accept invitations for social functions on Fridays, Saturdays or Sundays; but on the other hand, if I did accept to attend a social function as a guest, I would remove that time slot from my business diary.

 

WW

I agree that its not easy- maybe not possible- to be a guest and the photographer at an event . I once photographed at a friends wedding, because he kept asking not because I wanted to do it or viewed it as a commercial opportunity, and wouldn't do it again as it spoiled the day for me and my wife . But I did once, and quite successfully I think, carry out a major project for the company in which a buddy was both a senior manager and my contact- agreeing briefs and proposals, setting prices, signing off the bills etc. The friendship continued through what turned out to be a major project over several years , and continues still, a decade after the project was completed and wound down. I think it worked because we both understood "arms length", & made sure that everything was documented and that the invoices matched the proposals. It was managed exactly as if I was working with a client I didn't know at all, and all decisions were properly documented.

This is a difficult situation and no matter what you do could put your friendship at risk. The important thing is to manage expectations. I do work for friends, but make sure we both understand the ground rules. It is important to separate the two roles -- when you are the photographer you act at all times like a professional photographer -- that shows respect for everyone. When you are the friend you act like the friend. In my view if you know your customer really well you may have insights that make your photography better. It is important to remain professional at all times.

First I want to thank everyone who replied. This has given me a great deal of insight. Since the event was today, and my friend had no other photographer available, I did the job. I am not sure how this will affect the friendship in the future. But it did put me in the position of acting as a service provider the entire time and I stuck to the role of photographer the entire length of the event. I do think the friendship will not be the same in the future, honestly. I did need the work though and during the job I was asked for my business card a few times and may have gotten some business contacts from this. Oh well, it looks like there was not a simple way through this. Thanks again to everyone who answered, it is all helpful.

Funny how things turn out. You did the right thing in the beginning by declining the offer to be the paid photographer. And, I believe, you also did the right thing by photographing the event in the absence of any other photographer. You stepped up when needed and proved to be a good friend, indeed. However, I'm not surprised that you say "the friendship will not be the same in the future." IMHO: Your friend took advantage of you. I'd bet that they expected you to photograph the event from the beginning and offered money only after discovering you were planning on attending as a guest and had no intention of bringing your camera.

Ann, I think you did a fine job of handling a tough situation. Kudos!