Uncooperative Client. Help!

<p>I agree with John about tweaking your attitude toward shooting the wedding. Whenever I have a situation where there is a minor negative before the wedding, and the way I 'feel' about the client is affected, I consciously push my attitude toward my client to the positive end a notch or two. You need to psych yourself up and not let any negatives affect your performance that day and your interaction with your clients.</p>

<p>I'd find out how HE liked the images and what HE says about the experience. If he continues to be negative about it, I might handle him one way on the wedding day. If he tells me he liked his images and found the experience better than he thought it would be, I'd maybe handle him another way on that day. I've had plenty of would be grooms tell me, after the engagement session, that it wasn't as bad as they expected.</p>

<p>In any case, thinking of them with the idea that you should have run in the opposite direction does not help anything, and can hurt your relationship with your clients. A professional performs his or her job with the utmost care and consideration for clients--always, no matter what went before.</p>

<p>First of all, David, LOL!! Great idea.</p>

<p>I have several months to change my attitude. I'll be fine.</p>

<p>I'm wonding if I should ask if the bride would like me to do something different next time, to make the groom more comfortable?</p>

<p>I do plan on sending an email asking for specifics as to what exactly she wants. This is the part of wedding photography that I worry about....unsatisfied clients.</p>

<p>Thanks, again!</p>

I'd walk away from the whole thing and enact the golden rule: When in business, you can't have friends for clients.</p>

"Even in the nicely posed pictures, she says he look stupid." Maybe his eyes are empty.

 

 

Coming from a different prospective, maybe change your style a bit. Instead of thinking in terms of portrait and PJ style, and you guiding them, forget about that. Create a story about how they met, where they dated, places they went on dates. How did they fall in love? Sometimes you can get into there inner souls. Needless to say you photograph them through these emotions, which includes cloths they wear to the style of their hair. This will get rid of possible blank plastic looks she is discouraged by. Dig deep to find their soul and capture that mood. Creating mood is amped 10 fold just by lighting up your subject. Use your brain to capture the moment and use your camera simply as a tool. Cameras can get in the way causng you to only think PJ style or posed styles, which isn't correct.

 

If they still don't like the results than it's not you.

<p>If, a big IF, you talk to anyone about photographing the groom, why not talk with him?</p>

<p>He's the other half of this equation and apparently the so called problem half. Win him over and maybe she will be more satisfied. If you ask her, you'll be defining an even bigger role he won't be able to fill. </p>

<p>Personally, I wouldn't do either. Just suck it up and go shoot the wedding the best you can. Full-filling someone's fantasy manufactured in their head, (one most people can't articulate even when asked), is a nearly impossible task, and orally committing to it just tells the client you will do it ... when in fact you can't. Be careful what you promise. </p>

<p>you've let this b2b's comments knock you off stride -- i'll admit, they're a bit "out there," but that really has nothing to do with you.<br>

unless you get a specific complaint you can respond to, just carry on with your work. don't let this "dark cloud" ruin your focus and concentration on your work -- if you can, that is.<br>

the thing is, confidence up, insecurity down. you're fretting over matters over which you have no control. you'll have your hands full anyway, without this trifling business dragging you down.</p>

<p>I once did a wedding where the bride was in tears because she did not like the way her husband was pictured. She was tough to photograph but she looked very good in pictures by the sea as I concetrated on that. They did not have much money and as they were friends of a friend I gave them a break. I felt her heartbreak was genuine (maybe) although it was a result of over expectation. They were decent pictures but she hated his profile. That may have said something about her future marital satisfaction. After much discussion about re-shooting I gave them a partial refund and some free blowups. That seemed to satisfy them. We did this contract while I was away. My house and studio was shut down for the New England winter and the heat was off. I had an association with a local JOP whom they used who had a key to my studio. They prevailed upon the JOP to enter my frozen studio to look at quite a few wedding blowups I had decorating the place. The contract was sight unseen. I did a lot of weddings over seven years and had exactly two unsatisfied customers. The other was also an inexpensive wedding done in a Gazebo in pouring rain at their insistance and where I would not expose my equipment outside the gazebo. No ocean pictures. They got some free blowups. I never did another wedding with a customer sight unseen. That was a big mistake because when I met them I knew I had done wrong in taking them on. I did those two weddings on the cheap. Wrong. I found that there are a few people who will try and beat you out of your fee any way they can when I began doing weddings. I never gave another price break and quit taking on inexpensive weddings. So I speak from some experience. The only way I would have proceeded with your wedding was to sit down with the both of them and get everything out on the table and if that did not lead to a successful outcome so be it. In that situation I would have done a reshoot only if there was a meeting of the minds about the objectives and what would satisfy them If there was no real meeting of the minds, common understanding, then I would suggest they get another photographer for their wedding. I would want to meet with both of them. When I first started I would take anything. I found that it saves a lot of trouble not taking some clients as I got more successful and I had a fuller calendar. </p>

<p>They seem like more trouble than it's worth for you, and you're probably better off walking away. First rule of business: friends and family make lousy clients.</p>

<p>Hello,<br>

I am not a wedding photographer but I do look goofy in photographs. I always have & probably always will. And yes, I looked goofy in the wedding photos. BUT, my wife of 26 years knew then how I looked in photos and said nothing about it to either me or the photographer. If she had been that kind of person we probably would not have gotten married. In the years since we got married I have seen several couples where one or the other belittled their spouce and of course was unhappy with the wedding and everything else and guess what - it never got any better and no one ever did anything to please them. GIT AWAY AND BE HAPPY to work with those clients who appreciate your work. Darryl</p>

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<p>I would offer to shoot their wedding night photos. Tell her this will give her a good idea of how goofy his face can really look!</p>

<p>Whether they're unhappy with the photography, the way they look or both, they still don't like the pictures. This is not about whose at fault, but about satisfying the customer and moving one. If they tell others that they don't like their pictures, it's going to reflect on the photographer, regardless of the issues....-Aimee</p>

<p>Talk to the client, get everything out in the open(reshoot, no reshoot? Is it me? Is it you? If it's me, should I really be doing your wedding too? etc. etc.), and after that, do your best to get the pictures <em>they</em> want. If that fails, chalk it up to a bad day. I wish you luck</p>

<p >There is a fine, but definitive line between a client being unhappy with the Photographs and being unhappy with how some looks (or acts) prior to the capture and thus having a pre conceived idea that in any image that person will look goofy and their <strong ><em >continuance of that upset</em></strong> being later placed upon the Photographs. </p>

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<p >This situation reads as the latter.</p>

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<p >I perceive that Chimera "picked up on" the Bride's annoyance <strong ><em >with the groom</em></strong> and has in part, owned that problem - even to the extent of considering a reshoot. This shows very little ego, but rather great consideration for the client – albeit excessive, IMO.</p>

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<p >And, as quitting out is not an option, you, Chimera, need to change your perspective to go with the flow, as JH suggested.</p>

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<p >I think it is important that you do not continue to “own” the problem – as an example I used to do Folio Shots for an Agency (TV Commercial Extras) – it was bread and butter work – they required about four 10 x 8 images of each person. One session was the short list of women who responded to the Agency’s request: “We require more Grandmothers - T.V. Commercial Extras – Product shots etc – No speaking parts”. </p>

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<p >One talent was very irate with the results I produced and with a very calm approach we sorted it down to the fact that I was hopeless because she looked 50 years old in all the photos (her words) I noted on the Application Form she was actually 53 – I did think of just offering to reshoot her with the view to making her look older – so she would be more “Grandmother like” – but I (fortunately) held my wit – what I did do was pose the question, something like “I see your point, do you think by the images making you appear that young, will lessen you chances of getting the gig?” </p>

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<p >It is a matter of point of view – and who owns the problem: if (and I agree with Marc that is a big IF) there is any deep and meaningful conversations about "Goofy Looks" it should be with the Groom – sure the Bride might be present – and then if those two disagree on matters - let them sort it. </p>

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<p >If there is any discourse to the groom something like: "Do you think if you really try hard to look less Goofy that will imapct on YOUR wedding day?" </p>

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<p >But personally <em><strong>I would not be escalating the issue at all, by any further discussion on the matter.</strong></em></p>

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<p >I would be concentrating on gearing up a positive attitude for the Wedding and shedding the ownership of the problem which appears to be the Bride’s issue.</p>

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<p >WW</p>

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<p >*** </p>

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<p >On a lighter note:</p>

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<p >It seems she’ll likely not take up the suggestion to get a New Groom, the suggestion to shoot the Wedding Bedroom Scenes with full-on Goofy Looks resonates with me – also offer an early bird special on the Divorce Photos. </p>

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<p>I shot a wedding once where the bride locked herself up in the dressing room and wouldnt come out for 2 hours so we were 2 hours behind.<br>

just act like a pro suck it up and let it go. oh and learn from it.</p>

<p>Ha! Great advice, opinions and experiences. The bride said she told the groom-to-be that he'd better not pull this stuff on the wedding day. His response.....he laughed, shrugged his shoulders and walked away.<br>

By the way, she even admitted that she looks great in the pics, so I do need to remind myself of that. Moving on....</p>

<p><em>she told the groom-to-be that he'd better not pull this stuff on the wedding day. His response.....he laughed, shrugged his shoulders and walked away.<br />By the way, she even admitted that she looks great in the pics</em><br>

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Considering that the wedding is several months away and the current pace of the drama, one wonders if there will still be a wedding to shoot by that point. It should be entertaining in any event.</p>

<p>From what you said, the groom didn't seem to have been a problem at all, in fact he seemed to have fully cooperated with your photo session. It's the bride who seems to have some kind of psychological disorder - first she tells your friend her fiancee does not like his pic being taken, when you clearly found it was not so. And now she says his pics look goofy. To me she looks goofy (mentally speaking). And I pity the poor groom if this is what he needs to put up with for the next few years.</p>

<p>Hello ALL!<br>

One do not make the groom pose, he does not like it, so go about it in a photojournalistic way, he will feel free to act as he wants. </p>

<p>Post the pic</p>

<p>In my experience, friends & family don't <em>necessarily</em> make lousy clients. I wouldn't have gotten my start without them! Some friends will pay you, willingly, and appreciate your time, with the attitude 'if I'm going to pay someone to do this, I'm going to choose you'. Some will try to guilt you into discounts or really hedge on paying--those are the friends you can't do business with. I have both in my circle. Depends on the person, and this is a great learning experience for you. Imagine how great you will feel if you can turn this around =)</p>