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Why do I have to beg? Engagement photos - clothing question


missy_kay

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<p>lol ok so with my packages this year, I included engagement photoshoots because I thought it would be fun to get to know the couples prior to the wedding.</p>

<p>But for some reason, I find myself almost begging them to dress nicely. I always ask them what they are wearing and most of them respond "jeans and a tee shirt". And I'm like "maybe you could wear something colorful like a dress with a colorful belt and high heels". I basically have to beg them to dress up. Does anyone have a better way I could get them to dress up? They're like once in a lifetime photos. Thanks! :)</p>

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<p>lol.....I think the guy would look really different in a colorful dress and high heels....</p>

<p>I don't worry so much about the dress up part. I just want them to wear solid colors, avoid stripes, patterns, and such and since most of my engagement shoots are in a park, I'll typically suggest nice jeans/denim and, if they like, matching shirts. I don't want the clothes to compete with their faces and the expressions.</p>

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<p>Show them some examples of what works, and take the opportunity to point out why <em>you</em> think some of those shots work - including some deliberate references to the subjects having taken a moment to gussy up a bit. Or not! Engagement photos that look like strangers may not actually be what they'd want.</p>
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<p>or maybe they just dont care.... <br /> we've had clients who would dress up and bring clothing changes, and then there are those who don't really care about the shoot.<br /> some just want the wedding, but since the esession is part of the package, they think its something "free" and might as well do it, but they don't really care much for it.</p>

<p>we send em an email of what we suggest they wear, but its up to them to listen or not. we are not here to force them to do something they don't want to do.</p>

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<p>I explain that they can do the session any way they like, but that for the best results they should dress like they were on a nice date with each other. We want them to look their best. They have the rest of their lives to see each other in jeans and flip flops, this is something special. We recommend that they present themselves at their personal best. They should avoid strong colors, logos, stripes, and patterns, and bring 2 or 3 changes so we can try different outfits. If one works better than another, they can see this for themselves in the photos. I remind them that the goal of the shoot is to capture them looking their best, and capturing the romance that brought them together.</p>

<p>And yes, we sometimes have to beg.</p>

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<blockquote>

<p>Letting them be who they are aside, choice of venue is a big factor. Obviously, if you go to a place where dressing up is normal, you'd have an easier time getting them to dress up.</p>

</blockquote>

<p>I've been to orchestra concerts where a growing minority is dressing so casual as to look out of place. Some people really don't have a clue. </p>

 

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<p>Lol - this post brings back such fond memories (from some 20 years ago) of trying to get people to dress appropriately when they were coming in for a sitting at the studio where i worked. A lot of the sittings were freebies from promotions at Home Shows etc., so they too had an attitude of 'well, why do I have to bother dressing up; bringing extra clothes; colour/pattern co-ordination' etc. I've lost count of the amount of conversations about clothes with people! And that was for studio sittings, not outdoor stuff, and that was as I said, some 20 years ago! I guess some things just don't change! Maybe you could try suggesting 'smart casual' for a start and work from there? But it was quite hard sometimes to get people to 'co-operate' with the whole clothing thing. I better stop there - I'm starting to twitch again.........</p>
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<p>I think you have to remember who the couple is. I can see having a problem with people just not caring and looking like ragamuffins, but for our engagement session (recently married), we had on jeans and t-shirts. Note though that I did put on makeup (which is rare), and Tim didn't wear a hat (which is rare). Me in heals and curls or a button up shirt with trendy boots is just not us. To really be "us" we should have worn our Redwing jerseys... (As a side note, at our wedding, they were in the playoffs- We put our jerseys on over our wedding attire [mine over my dress- picture a bustled train, heals, and a bright red jersey on top [they skunked 'em- 6-0, only because we wore our jerseys, of course!]). That was us. </p>

<p>Maybe you should look at it a different way- Pick a venue that complements what they wear. A street shot of us eating brats in jerseys would be a much more valued engagement portrait session that us in things we just don't normally wear or at a place that just didn't fit us.</p>

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<p>To elaborate on what I just wrote... isn't an engagement session supposed to be about who the couple is... what brought them together, what they were involved in when they were dating that brought them together? What if jeans and flip-flops is what they always wore on Saturday night pizza-and-a-movie-rental dates? Going back to us as an example, I joke that Tim fell in love with me on the first date when I said I love the Misfits (old, not new) and Redwings hockey. Our best dates involved beer and some sort of Detroit sports. We had better "talks" laying on the hood of the jeep looking at the stars than we ever did dressed up on the town. </p>

<p>As a professional portrait photographer, and working with 4 others in our studio, I think sometimes we lose sight of whether we're doing what <em>we</em> want or <em>they</em> want. Granted, some people just don't give a rat's a$$ about a portrait, but are we showing <em>them</em> in those portraits, or are we sometimes trying to force people into what we think they should want or they <em>should</em> be seen?</p>

<p>I'm really not trying to be accusatory... I've been thinking a lot on my interaction with people and my attitude towards shooting. This threads stirs some philosophical self-debate in my head... I think its worth thinking about in the least.</p>

<blockquote>

<p>They're like once in a lifetime photos</p>

</blockquote>

<p>Again, I really don't want to sound accusatory in my statements, but you're right- they are once in a lifetime portraits. They are meant to represent a time in the couple's life. What if that time is blue jeans and not a dress with a colorful belt and high heels? I mean, I don't even own a dress (that fits... I think I have one in the back of the closet... oh! I do have a little black dress I haven't worn in 3 years, and then I think I've worn it once in 6 years. We've only been together for 4 years... so proportionately, that dress shouldn't be used in our engagements session. I wear my boots everyday though...).</p>

<p>Again, I think it comes back to whether we, as photographers, are projecting what <em>we</em> want upon the couple or listening to what the <em>couple</em> wants.</p>

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The market which I want to enter, some engagement shoot, the couple actually wear their bridal attire.

I.e, the girl wear her bridal dress and the guy wear his tux.A replica on the formal shoots on the wedding day!!!

 

I think you can tell them how they would like to remember their engagement and shoot where that is most important to them.

 

Eg, first date,or where he proposed,where they use to hang out while dating.

Then I find most couple would automatically become "dressier"

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<p>I usually tell the couple to be comfortable, and wear what they would normally wear. This is because my engagement shoots are usually shot on the beach, or at a park. I tend to make the engagement photos more casual, as I will be photographing them in their formal best on their Wedding day. I do tell them to avoid wearing solid white, which can easily blow out on a sunny day. Comfortable shoes are always a good idea, because heels can sink into sand or grass.</p>
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<p>Suggest a change of clothing ... one set for comfort in a style they enjoy AND THEN suggest that they change into a set of clothing to take some photos that the grandparents and parents will enjoy.</p>

<p>You are then pointing out that the photos they take are not just theirs but the photos are to be enjoyed by parents and grandparents and that dressing up a bit shows respect and honors tradition. The couple will then possibly need suggestions so have your clothing tip sheet ready to give them or send to them.</p>

<p>The rationale is NOT for the photographers portfolio BUT it is for the family and dressing nicely for a few shots is not that big a sacrifice and always seems easy to deal with if it's explained honestly and with a sense of importance to family rather than merely a personal short term decision.</p>

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I think it's mostly been said already. I have only recently started offering engagement sessions so I haven't 'dealt' with this. Because I like capturing things on the wedding day as they unfold rather than orchestrating, this would hold true for their engagement session as well. I would maybe propose they coordinate colours and avoid hot pinks and luminous greens :), but I wouldn't get stressed out about it. Just do your thing, have fun and ensure they have fun as well. How you handle the session will give them further confidence that you'll do a great job on their wedding day :)
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<p>Do you show them examples from past sessions (or photo shoots of friends modelling for you) that reflect your style and what you'd LIKE to shoot? Do you give them any kind of info before hand? (what to expect? location ideas? what to wear?) For a lot of our clients, they don't do this every weekend, and they don't spend their week nights blog-stalking other photographers. They're just not up on what's in (and what's out - hello selective colouring), so they need to be walked through everything. We include an engagement session with our wedding coverage and almost all of our clients really get into it. But I also talk about how fun it is, how it's a chance to show off the real you, and how us getting a chance to play around together before hand leads to better pictures on the actual day of the wedding. Just my 2 cents!</p>
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