Jump to content

convincing bride and groom to meet before the wedding


danzel_c

Recommended Posts

<p>I ask them what they want and if they do not want formals before then i dont do them before. It is there day and i let them do what they want. I am on the west coast so about 65% of brides and grooms choose to do them before because i recomend it in our first meeting but i do not push it. I get to do the formals either way.</p>
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 60
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

<p>Ok, that makes more sense.<br>

I think it comes down to personal wedding photography view. I prefer to be as hands off as possible. I just think the more you mess, the more each wedding becomes more like the last one, it takes away the personality of the couple sometimes. Usually the bride and groom kiss at the end of the processional anyway...you just have to be on your toes. And it makes for a much more realistic emotion.</p>

Link to comment
Share on other sites

<p>It is mainly the venues that place the time line on the B&G , in our market. With a 1/2 hour cocktail gathering after the ceremony > puts a real crunch on the photos post ceremony....plus the B&G has no time with their guests, to mingle. ( And it is the best time for me to grab candids) 2 hours before :: is fairly standard . It is up to them if they want quality coverage....</p>
Link to comment
Share on other sites

<p>When I got married, my photographer convinced me to do the photos before hand by explaining that we would be more relaxed when the ceremony started. I bought it and I think he was right. I also used this reason to convince the bride and groom from my last wedding, they agreed as well and I was able to do the photos prior to the ceremony.</p>
Link to comment
Share on other sites

<p>No one in this thread has denied that the day doesn't belong to the B/G or that their wishes be discarded or discounted...........as Denzel has already stated: "as professionals we should offer advice and try to influence based on our experience and the things that we have seen work well. although, ultimately, it's their decision" .......and I completely agree with him. </p>
Link to comment
Share on other sites

<p>A lot of opinions on this one - interesting :-)</p>

<p>Ditto Betty, Anna and Steve. I've never suggested a couple do anything on their wedding day. I'm comfortable working with whatever happens. It's their day and I like to let it unfold as it happens. If I felt I couldn't make the most of every moment without arranging certain situations then I wouldn't be there in the first place.</p>

<p>I buy the argument of making suggestions, but only if asked directly for an opinion by the couple. Otherwise there's too much risk of the photographer influencing the outcome of the day based on their previous experiences. I've been a guest at some weddings where the photographer has been heavy on the direction and the day has descended into relentless cliche, with appallingly contrived and lackluster photographs. Not for any lack of effort on behalf of the photographer, but simply because they didn't seem to know any different, and were probably doing what they'd always done.</p>

Link to comment
Share on other sites

<p>There are thousands of different ways to approach the day. I haven't liked the results I've seen from photographers who try and influence or orchestrate moments outside of the formals.<br>

It's just not the direction I would want to take my work, but it doesn't make it wrong.</p>

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

<p>I've been shooting wedding professionally for 4 years now (averaging 10 + per year) and just yesterday had my first one where the bride and groom insisted on not seeing each other prior to the wedding.</p>

<p>The coordinator came up to me at one point after the wedding (just as someone needed for another group shot remarked about being hungry for the upteenth time) and said that SHE tried to convince them to see each other before and do a staged first look shot. We ended up doing two hours of formals before the ceremony and another hour and 45 minutes after. The groom had a large extended family that he wanted photos of...</p>

<p>To me - it doesn't matter...but if a couple decides to do the bride / groom seperately before and the formals with the wedding party together in between the two - they should have a backup plan for food for the participants in the photos and perhaps even the guests...or at least tell the guests that they will be at the reception at a certain time so guests can make plans for alternative food / snacks.</p>

<p>Just my 2 cents worth.</p>

<p>Dave</p>

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

<p>I don't try to convince people if they seem content about not seeing each other before. However, if asked, or if the schedule seems to be a problem, I will talk about the option, but not to convince, just to explain how it can be done, leaving the final decision to the couple. Sometimes I get couples who come to me already wanting to do the formals beforehand.</p>

<p>More than anything else, the notion is really about the bride making the big impression (in the dress) on her groom. This is why the 'first glance' session involves simulating a 'processional' of sorts--either bride walks down the aisle as if during the ceremony, or taps the groom on the shoulder (he has had his back turned), or vice versa, but it is usually the bride that walks. It is this romantic notion, and not so much tradition, that keeps brides from giving up the idea.</p>

<p>If looking for reasons to convince, properly explaining that none of that is taken away, must be done. That plus the bonus of quiet time with each other, where they might exchange gifts, etc. And, they can cry, laugh, and be themselves since no one is around, whereas during a ceremony, there are people all watching. In fact, many times, I am specifically asked by the bride to photograph the groom when he first sees the bride down the aisle. I dutifully take the picture, but during the ceremony, it is actually a rare groom that displays much emotion on the face since there are a lot of eyes on him. My favorite was when a recent groom burst into tears as soon as he saw the bride. Needless to say, I shot a ton of images. But that is one in hundreds of weddings.</p>

<p>As for the idea that meeting before saves time, I doubt it. In fact, one of the disadvantages to this type of meeting is that the people in the formals all need to be at the church (or wherever) much earlier than 'normal', and more often than not, people are still late, meaning you don't get to fulfill the goal of getting it all done beforehand. The advantage, really, is about getting to the reception faster, not a real savings of time. Many couples think that if they do all the formals beforehand, they can literally recess down the aisle, step outside, and disappear into their car. Not true--you still need to get some other shots, most likely, so it isn't all that huge a time saver after.</p>

<p>How directive a photographer is also has an impact, and this goes to the photographer's philosophy re wedding photography. Photographers are all different--that is why we are seeing differences in ways to handle the situation in the discussion above. None of the philosophies are right or wrong, and one would assume that clients choose their photographer because they agree with or trust that photographer's philosophy of wedding photography.</p>

Link to comment
Share on other sites

<p>It has really become rare for the bride and groom not to see one another in the weddings I photograph. I've only had two in the last three years that didn't want to see another. Most brides want it that way because they want to have the time to get good photos with out the rush of trying to get all the formals done after the ceremony while people are waiting at the reception. <br>

I always start with the bride and groom and I set up a meet for them. If it is a church we clear the sanctuary and the bride walks down the aisle with the groom's back turned until she calls his name. I take a few quick shots as they come together and then I leave giving them a few minutes by themselves. To me it is by far the best way for everyone involved. It does require some people arriving earlier but it also allows the bride and groom, family and friends to go and immediately celebrate with one another at the reception.<br>

I usually don't have to talk the bride into this, they've already have made their minds up to do it that way. I had one bride tell me she was going to wait until after the ceremony until she went to one where all the formals were taken after the ceremony. She never got to speak to the bride because it took so long for the photos to be taken.</p>

Link to comment
Share on other sites

<p><em>"It must be because I do a lot of Catholic weddings, I find it's almost unheard of that my Catholic wedding brides see the groom before hand....and I respect that." -Betty</em><br>

Over half of all my 500 weddings have been Catholic and I'm not aware of anything that would make a Catholic wedding incompatible with the couple seeing each other beforehand.</p>

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

<p>again, thanks for the replies. this thread has indeed helped me to develop a new approach regarding a private moment before the ceremony for the bride and groom. for those of us who would never offer the idea, at least now you know that there are some out here who do.</p>
Link to comment
Share on other sites

<p>I AM Catholic, have been in several Catholic weddings, been personal attendant for several and they've ALL had portraits done before the ceremony....just my personal experience. However, I think it may go in cycles, like a trend.</p>
Link to comment
Share on other sites

<p>Hi. That's a very good question. I'm originally from the Philippines where most people are catholic and we have that very same tradition. We moved to Australia almost 10 years ago and it's the same thing here so I guess this tradition is indeeed everyhwere.<br>

Perhaps some wedding coordinators and planners can shed more light into this. You might want to visit this site called<a href="http://www.australianbridaldirectory.com.au/"> Australian Bridal Directory</a> for more information. It helps me a lot when it comes to weddings.</p>

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

<p>I got married myself last year. I did not see my wife-to-be in her wedding dress until she came walking down the isle. It was a very very powerful experience for us. I'll never forget that moment, it is burned into my brain.</p>

<p>As such I would encourage other couples to do the same, if they wish to do so. This means that formals and creative shots have to take place between the ceremony and the reception. This means that you need time to get though those shots and you need to be organized. So, rather than encouraging couples to water down one of the most powerful experiences of their lives for the sake of a few staged photos, I suggest spelling out to the couple that you need time and organization to get those photos that they'll spend their hard-earned dollars on.</p>

<p>Planning a reception at six pm? How about the doing the ceremony at 2 pm instead of 3 pm. Or how about serving appetizers at six and putting off dinner until seven or later. How about skipping the receiving line after the ceremony, and doing the receiving line later in the evening. It's easy to lose track of time when you're trying to chat with a hundred people at the same time, trying to catch up on things. Better to jump right into formals, right after the ceremony, before people wander off in all directions and have to be pulled away from conversations.</p>

<p>I don't think doing formals before the ceremony is a time saver in the end. The bride will have to get the hair and make-up done in the morning anyways - so from an overall time perspective, in the end it doesn't matter whether you do the formals or ceremony first. The bride will have to get up at 7 am on her wedding day if she wants to get though all the steps.</p>

<p>p.s. in the last two years I've uncle-bobbed two weddings where the pro in attendance did not get the choked-up groom shot when the bride walks down the isle. I got it on both occasions (from my seat on a pew, don't worry I didn't jump in the way). Attention tends to be on the bride when she walks down the isle, not on the groom... In both cases the couple were very happy to get the choked-up groom shot from me.</p>

<p> </p>

Link to comment
Share on other sites

<p>Howdy!</p>

<p>Doing all the formals before the ceremony has very little to do with The Photographer's Convenience. When you do split formals, you hold up the reception, thus keeping the guests and caterers waiting. It's much better to leave the church and go straight to the party, and that's how I sell it to my clients. I have never had a client refuse to do all formals before the ceremony when I sell it using this approach.</p>

<p>Later,</p>

<p>Paulsky</p>

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

<p>One more thought: I arrange a "first meeting", where the bride walks up the aisle while the groom has his back turned to her. When he turns around, there are several wonderful moments to capture.</p>

<p>Regarding the "choked up look" on the grooms face, I've rarely seen it. Most of the time, it's "Deer in the Headlights" as he practices his line (I Do, I Do, I Do ...)</p>

<p>Later,</p>

<p>Paulsky</p>

Link to comment
Share on other sites

<p>Paulsky, I can typically get the shot of the groom at the moment he first sees her provided the church rules allow me to stand in my preferred position. Indeed, more often than not it is a <em>"Deer in the Headlights" </em>moment :-)</p>

<p>I think it's interesting how many people are concerned with orchestrating moments and the amount of participation vs. non participation on the part of the photographer. I frequently recommend that people purchase: <a href="http://www.photovisionvideo.com/store/CTGY/DVD/">http://www.photovisionvideo.com/store/CTGY/DVD/</a> Volume 1, 2, or 3 and watch how Pfister, Yervant, Woods, Calentano, Pierce, Skulte and several other top-notch photographers do what they do. I think most newcomers will be surprised with how many spontaneous moments were actually set-up by the photographer. I remember one new shooter that watched one a couple of years ago, she seemed to be in shock and as if she just heard the truth about Santa. I'm guessing it's still in the P-net archives somewhere.</p>

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now



×
×
  • Create New...