What to do when a guest doesn't want thier picture taken??

A few weeks ago, I was photographing a wedding shower for a couple who's

wedding is this Saturday. Anyway, while I was going around doing the table

shots of the guests (as requested by the couple), I encountered a bit of a

crabby older woman. She was sitting alone but I thought I would still take her

photo until the rest of the table came back. Well, I asked (as I always do) if

it would be ok if I took her photo for the couple. She said "NO" not even with

a half smile. So I said, "Are you sure because I am sure they would love your

photo". Again, she said no. I said ok and started to walk away. Well, the

family of this woman comes rushing over and basically forces the woman to be

photographed. They didn't just want one or two photos taken, it was like 8

relatives that all wanted different people with her. Well, she didn't smile in

even ONE of them! I could tell she didn't want to be photographed but I didn't

know what to do. I am sure to run into the woman again at the wedding so what

do I do when she says no and the family says yes! And a lot of people don't

like to be in "table shots". I only do them if the bride and groom request it.

Has anyone ever run into issues with this and do you have any advice for me??

 

THANKS!!

Lets hope she is not in the Witness protection program after being a bookkeeper for the mob all those years. I would not have taken her photo,she might actually have a good reason that she did not want to be photographed.

Can happen with old people ...

Ask her if you can buy her a drink, get her something to eat. I am not kidding. Sometimes they just need a bit of caring attention.

There is one at every wedding.

I usually pass them up if they say no because it will be a horrible photo anyway, but if you do get shots of her, or anyone else, in a situation as tou mentioned above, take the photo, then, if digital, put a smile on her face in photoshop (just takes a few minutes). WA-LA, a happy old woman!

A relative did an Italian wedding some years back. Upon arrival, an older gentleman was pointed out and he was told in no uncertain terms that man was not to be photographed.

 

He was not.

I think you did the right thing not photographing her alone.

 

When the family all begs for photographs WITH someone who doesn't want to be

photographed, the best you can do is say, "I don't think she cares to be photographed..."

then give in when they all insist. Majority rules.

This can be somewhat touchy and you have to take your cues from the situation at hand. It is a pretty common situation though. I would suggest showing this woman alot of empathy and attention at the wedding. Perhaps you can good naturedly tease her about her pushy relatives and suggest that she put on sunglasses, wig, and scarf if they try to get some photos of her. Course, now that she's at the wedding and looking like a million bucks it would be a shame not to get a nice picture or two.... With the right approach I've gotten reluctant oldsters to actually go to the backdrop. But sometimes you can get a real "crabster" and it just isn't gonna happen. Be nice, be sweet, and be fun. All too often, these images become the last photos that the family has of this person.....quite a responsibility, huh.

Had this happen to me once.. a bunch of elderly fire fighters at a table shot. did not want their photo taken. Photographer I used to work for took a photo of them all exiting their table so that if the Bride asked (and you know.. about 50% do) he had the evidence of their reaction to their table shot.

 

I don't like table shots.. do them at Bar/bat mitzvahs and if the bride requests. Had this go really well one time.. the DJ asked everyone to return to their tables and then annouced that as soon as the photographer came around and got the photo they could go to the bar. Worked like a charm, and it rarely does.

 

If someone doesn't want their photo taken (after I have asked on behalf of the Bride and Groom) I just leave it alone but keep it light and poolite and sometimes they relent.

 

Personally I don't like MY photo taken and that is why I stand behind the lens and take the pictures.

more than once I've had a funny old man point to another funny old man and say "he's in

the secret service - you can't take his photo, ha!" I know they're joking, but it sure makes

me think twice before I steal a candid of them.

 

the best way to get a photo of a guest like the woman you described is to take one with

the bride and groom at her side. most guests (even if the crabby face remains) feel

honored if the couple wants a photograph with them.

That one is tough, you can tell something funny, not about the person, wait until that person leaves, or wait until the bride makes it to that table. There will always be some cranky f@rt at a table, overlook them & go on,,

It's against the law to take pictures of someone who has requested you don't, no matter what the couple wants. If a bunch of people come up and tell her to have her photo taken you should probably ask again just to cover your arse.

 

On another point, if you did take a picture of someone in the secret service, how would anyone know!? It's not like secret servicemen are revealed by the photographic process!

 

And what the hell is WA-LA? Did you mean voila the French for "there it is".

I've never even been asked to take table shots (thank you very much), but if someone told me not to take their photo ... they have that right. I would move on.

Ross:

 

"It's against the law to take pictures of someone who has requested you don't, no matter what the couple wants."

 

I'm not familiar with that law. Can you point me to a source?

 

 

Eric

Eric,

<p>

It comes from the sense of privacy that each individual has the right to control the use of their image (exceptions for public figures). I can't point to a specific law because AFAIK, a photographer may take any pictures they want in public situations. However, a wedding reception and a wedding shower are private parties - everyone (including the photographer) is there by invitation.</p>

<p>Since many wedding photographers include a clause in their contract stating no guarantee of the photographer's ability to get any particular shot, I would respect the person's wish to not be photographed and move on.</p>

Craig

I agree that it may violate the sense of privacy, but I'd also like to see a source point to that law, as well as the country it is effective in (I know some countries are more stringent about these situations than the US). Despite being "invitation only", I don't believe there is any legal expectation of privacy at a wedding venue (which is likely being held in a public venue) so long as the photographer is not in a defined private space such as the restroom or a bedroom where someone might be able to expect a reasonable level of privacy. :)

 

Having stated this, one should always consult a local Lawyer before acting on legal advice received over the internet, as I am neither local, nor a Lawyer. ;)

> Has anyone ever run into issues with this and do you have any advice for me?? <

 

Yes and yes:

 

Being aware of the potential, you are forearmed: I suggest you take the night as it comes and the table shot involved as part of that night.

 

Devolution of the decision on the table group photo to everyone at table is a good idea, as is shooting group photos with the lady in them.

 

An awareness of the potential situation is the key: and thus one is more equipped to deal with it in a calm and professional manner.

 

Bottom line; the `legal issues` are both academic and irrelevant in this situation: you are shooting a Wedding, (i.e. not the front page of the world news) and if a guest really insists and the group does not convince her otherwise that she not be photographed: then so be it and move on.

 

You might find this thread useful also, it is not the same, but similar:

 

http://www.photo.net/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg?msg_id=00KrUW

 

WW

Hi sorry for the delay, check this bad boy out, obviously this is UK law:

 

http://www.sirimo.co.uk/ukpr.php

 

There's a downloadable pdf file stating the law. Skip to the harassment section.

 

Regards

 

Ross

For the guys in the good'ol US of A:

 

http://www.krages.com/phoright.htm

 

It seems you don't have to worry so much, however, harassing someone would probably constitute the same actions as in the UK. Either way, you may want to check the legal definitions of harassment. Other than that, you can do as you damn well please.

I never photograph people while they are eating. I try to get shots of everybody while they are doing stuff, like dancing, drinking, or schmoozing. Many people don't even know they are being photographed.

 

I favor straightforward language in this sort of situation. Tell the people that are bothering her that she told you that she doesn't want to be photographed. Don't play games with "I don't think she wants to be photographed" because you know perfectly well that she doesn't. If the family manages to persuade her, then take the shot, but only if she says OK.

 

The individual right NOT to be photographed trumps the right of the family to have one more picture.

 

Later,

 

Paulsky

I have a clause in my contract that states the photographer is not responsible if key individuals fail to appear or cooperate during photography sessions or for missed images due to details not revealed to the photographer. In other words, if uncle joe is too drunk to get group pictures, it's not our fault.

"It's against the law to take pictures of someone who has requested you don't, no matter what the couple wants."

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Wouldn't that put the entire paparazzi behind bars? (not that it would be much of a loss)