How do I deal with an attention getter who isn't the bride and groom?

Ok, I shot a wedding on the 28th. I'd do shoots on evenings and

weekends for suplimental income (and to support my hobby and build a

portfolio). With the rare exception (namely my husband's very

critical eye - which I learn alot from) people are extatic when they

see what I shot.

 

On this particular occasion my father was visiting from abroad and as

he was invited to the wedding, attended. He wore a tux (no one but

the wedding party wore such outfits) and for much of the ceremony

(outdoors) shot photos from behind the bride, groom and minister.

He's a painter, and as I later found out he was planning on doing a

painting for the couple as a wedding gift. He did not tell me this

was what was going on. Later he disappeared when I took the formals.

However during the reception he plopped himself again less than a

foot right behind the bride and groom. There were many pictures that

were ruined because there was the bride, groom, and then my father....

and many that would have been precious, that I didn't take. As he is

my father and not a paying customer, I let him know my frustrations

several times throughout the day.

 

My question is: Was my father out of line, and how does a pro deal

with these kinds of situations when you don't know the individual and

the couple aren't close friends? ADVISE PLEASE!

 

*You can check out some of the photos from the wedding in my D-W

Wedding folder of my gallery. I'd love it if I got some feedback on

the shots - both praise and areas for improvement.

You should have told him to sit his ass somewhere else. Why was he invited, anyways?

If the individual was truly interfering with the kind of photos I promised the couple, then I'd ask nicely if he/she would mind giving the couple "some space" for a while, and explain why you, the photographer can't deliver the photos the couple wants if he/she is always around. The key is humor and a "nice tone" when communicating. Depending on the arrangements you've made with the couple about who the "contact person" for the event is, you can appeal to that person first, or at least, find out how that person thinks the couple will feel about your having a "conversation" with the offending guest. The contact person can also talk to the couple for you--sometimes the contact person is the bride herself. I would do the talking to the offender myself, though. Best to be up front but "nice". If you don't talk to the guest yourself, he/she might think badly of you. Most guests truly want what is best for the couple, and usually put their egos behind the wishes of the couple.

 

The only times I've ever had problems were with videographers--both amatuer and pro.

Edward - I wish I had the gall to be so blunt with him, but you spoke my mind. Last year, my father visited for two months during the summer and several times for a week during the spring. It was during that time that he got to know the groom's family. He was invited to the wedding, probably because he expected to be invited as his one week visit this summer fell around the time of the wedding (which he discovered after he made his flight arrangements).

 

If anyone gets a moment, I'd love some feedback on my photos in my gallery!

Ruth,

You really have to put feelings aside in a situation as you explaine, and well grow some pebbles! I know because my mom assisted me at one wedding, and I thought I would just die. While she was more than helpful, she was just all over the place. She was trying to help the bride, even putting her jewelry on her. I just told her to step out of the shot. She;s not related, nor had she ever met the bride, why should she be in the shots? At first I was so afraid to hurt her feelings, but I knew it wasn't something I could address later, I just had to suck it up, and think about my job. She seemd fine with my critisism, and stepped back. Just be bold, and make others respect what you do. Best of luck! Oh, and the pics are nice, were they digital? A few seemed to be a little bright, lihe they were retouched in PS. Have you shot many weddings?

Teresa

With your father, just asking him to step aside for the picture should be sufficient (and if not, you have other problems).

 

In some circumstances, perhaps you could draft such a person as a helper for yourself, keeping them on your side of the camera.

...solution: ask the groomsmen to escort 'Pop' out for a cup of coffee, beer, wine, whatever: just to have him clear out of the wedding couple's space.

 

 

 

Same goes for Uncle Charlie in the back, trying hard to get his flash to keep up with your pace. He generally gives up when he figures out you are not going to clear out of his way after every pose. He is welcome to shoot with my backside in his view....

I agree with some of the others that what you are doing is a business and needs to be run as one. Luckly I have an assistant that fears no one and she firmly asks people to move out of the posed shots.

 

How you tell your dad to park it, is another question alltogether!

 

I let some rating for you. I enjoyed your photos and I'm sure the bride will love them.

It's too bad your father wouldn't listen to you. You don't want to cause a scene, especially during a ceremony or during the reception program. I'm pretty clear with the couple beforehand that while I rarely invoke my "puff-out-my-chest-exclusive-photographer's" rights, if there will be guests interfering with getting shots, it's in our mutual interest that they will be asked to get out of the way. The couple usually have no problem with this, as they are just as interested in not having their images ruined by 20 aunts & uncles crowding around with their cameras.

 

Your father complicates things personally, but you did the right thing in trying to communicate your concern with him - at that point, he should have been treated as any other guest. I don't think I've ever had to resort to more than a polite request to get people to move. As others have already pointed out, you can also go to the contact person/best man to get more leverage if you need it.

 

Your portfolio has some nice images - I like the B&W's mostly, and the close-up of the couple is nice. The color images seem to have a greenish cast on my monitor...?

I normally use Porta VC for my shoots. This time I decided to go with Porta NC just because I know that the couple likes the softer tones. I was very dissapointed when I got the photos back from the processor. Everything was green. It's going to be a lot of work in PS before I give the couple thier proof albumn. From now on out it's back to VC.

You need to put your Dad in his place. This is not a pro question so much as it's one of you needing to deal with your relationship with your father. He acted like an ass so you need to gently but firmly let him know it's your gig not his and the people that get photo priority are the bride and groom... not him.

 

If he gets his feelings hurt then maybe it's time for him to do a bit of growing up.

Ruth, greenish images doesn't have anything to do with selecting NC or VC. It is simply is

more or less contrast resulting in softer or more punchy color. Both the Portra versions are

pretty good on color balance and skin tones. Either some of the the lighting was from a

florescent source, or the lab didn't get it right. I'd rerun a set of negs., or even just one

neg., at a different lab to make sure. If the resulting print is without the greenish cast, I'd

take the entire set of negs back to the original lab for a new set of proofs or get your

money back and do them at the alt lab..

Ruth,

 

Sorry to hear about your father. As many set next time, try to be clear and get the wedding

coordinator, whomever fills that role, deal with it as you need to concentrate on your

shots.

 

As for your portfolio, as Marc mentiond, the colour shots outside all have a green /blue

color cast on my monitor. For digital folks they need to deal with this themselves, for us

lucky film guys the Lab should be doing the color correction when they make the prints.

Return them and point out that the color cast is unacceptable.

 

Perhaps, as Marc metioned as well, go to an other lab with one neg, and if that works out

bring that back in to the original lab and tell them that you want properly filtered prints or

find a better lab all togheter.

Teresa, sorry for not answering in an earlier post. This is my second paid wedding, and my third will be in October. :)

Ruth, I have looked in your wedding folder and you have captured some lovely images.

 

I like the way you have used natural light where possible and especially like the window image of the bride. Sorry, I can't offer much in the way of criticism :-)