I agree with this assessment. One thing to also consider is a slight crop from the top which I think would strengthen the leading lines in the foreground. The light at the top is distracting and isn’t needed. IMHO. I like it overall.
Julian, I checked out your website and found your stuff very interesting and well done and I’m a big fan of black and white film. I don’t find this photo particularly compelling which is not saying it’s bad, I like your others better.